Mum’s viral message inspires Sophie Dennington ahead of FA Cup final | Women’s FA Cup

WWhen assistant referee for Sunday’s Women’s FA Cup final, Sophie Dennington, heard her phone ring while she was taking part in a strength and conditioning session, she was curious, but ignored it. When it was finished, she saw three missed calls from her mother, Shelley, among the notifications and immediately called.

“She says, ‘Soph, I posted something on Facebook. This is just a small, basic page. I saw lots of kids posting that they were referees and starting their GCSEs. Posts normally receive three or four likes. All I wanted to do was just post that you struggled with your GCSEs to show them that anything is possible and just keep going. I didn’t think it would get so many likes so quickly,” says Dennington. She said goodbye, turned off her phone and went to work. After she finished, she turned on her phone and saw the post and its 1.1 million views.

The post on the grassroots Facebook group read: “This is my daughter Sophie Dennington – I’m so proud of her. She started refereeing at age 15. She struggled a lot at school, and at 13 she was the reading and spelling age of a seven-year-old. With the help of her school, she managed to pass her GCSEs. She was diagnosed with dyslexia, but she still achieved her dream. She’s lining up for the Women’s FA Cup final! A message to all young referees. You can do it if you put your mind and heart into something! »

It was a lovely and inspiring message, but Dennington was in tears. “She estimated that (at 13) my age in spelling and reading was that of a seven-year-old,” she says. “I cried because I was embarrassed, but then I started reading the responses and seeing how it connected with people and I thought, ‘Wow, OK, it’s not just me who’s been through this, but actually I help and support people.’ I’ve never seen it like that before. You forget to put yourself in other people’s shoes… I didn’t want to do media, but I thought that because it had such a positive impact and people were very into it. well reacted, I just wanted to come and say: ‘Yes, I was seven years old in reading and spelling, but I now have a diploma – that didn’t stop me.

Her school wrote her off before her dyslexia diagnosis, telling her not to bother attending sixth-form colleges because she wouldn’t get the grades. “I took that and thought, ‘Who are you to tell me what I’m going to do with my life?’ I used that as motivation. You’re not going to stop me from getting what I want. I couldn’t write half a page in English in 8th and 9th grade, but I wrote a 10,000-word thesis and was two points short of first.

Her diagnosis also changed the way her family viewed her. “I got my diagnosis in 8th grade and then it was like my family was like, ‘You’re not just lazy.’ My uncle said, “Just read it, just read it.” And I’m like, ‘I can’t because the words don’t match what’s going through my head.’ Then I said to myself: this is why my brain isn’t working. I think my family felt a little bad because they were trying to push me but they didn’t know how to support me properly.

Dennington will appear in the Women’s FA Cup final for the second consecutive season. Last year she was there as a reserve manager. This year, she will have the flag in her hand when Manchester United take on Tottenham. It was a breakthrough year, with the 23-year-old one of five new England officials to be added to Fifa’s international list, as an assistant referee, for 2024.

Her refereeing journey began when she was joking with the referee at her school matches. “I said I could be a better referee than him. Because he’s older, he didn’t move much on the field. Her physical education teacher thought she should try it, but her mother couldn’t afford the class. “So my PE teacher had a word with my principal and he said to me: ‘Look, I think we should pay for Sophie. Is there a budget? And my principal told me, ‘We’ll pay for her, but she can pay us back by refereeing the boys after school.’ » The referee she joked with became her mentor, giving her advice and going to matches.

When she was invited on her first international trip, she had to make a big decision: to quit her job at Tesco, where she had been denied time off, and abandon her ambition to become a police detective, working with people who been sexually assaulted, because the training did not allow her to take leave either.

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“My father said to me: ‘Fine, leave Tesco and you can fire the police.’ The police will always be there. …I haven’t looked back.

Dennington gets emotional when asked what message she would give to her 13-year-old self – and to the kids watching from the sidelines on Sunday.

“I would say, ‘Don’t be so hard on yourself.’ I would come home and cry and cry during class. I just didn’t understand why I wasn’t like everyone else. You look at others and think, “Why am I not like that?” Why am I struggling? I was good for nothing. My escape was PE but I wasn’t good at it, I just felt free.

“As an individual, you’re going to be great at something – you just have to find what you’re good at. And I think now my message would be to stop comparing yourself to others because you are your own person.