Come to the table: strangers come together to dine with open minds

Celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain once said, “You learn a lot about someone when you share a meal together.” »

That’s exactly the goal of Come to the Table, a free monthly event where an unlikely group of guests dine and spend time getting to know each other. Each event hosts 50 people for dinner, half of whom come from Marin City and the rest from other areas of the county. Yet the affair is intimate, with up to six meals at each table.

The second part of the evening consists of a lively community forum for more than a hundred people, featuring Marin City leaders in conversation with experts from across the county and beyond. Topics included labor and housing issues, telling stories through art and culture, Marin City history, and health care disparities. Speakers range from black and white doctors to a queer Mexican-American theater director to women business owners.

Come to the Table is the brainchild of Rev. Floyd Thompkins, who leads St. Andrew Presbyterian Church in Marin City. For years, Thompkins knew that many residents of predominantly wealthy, white Marin County were unfamiliar or disinterested in the issues facing their neighbors in Marin City, a diverse, low-income community on the South Side. County.

In November, Thompkins hosted a daylong “session” with faith leaders from across the county and leaders of Marin City organizations to try to uncover the causes of the divide and develop ways to address it. Participants left with what the pastor calls astonishing accomplishments.

“There are people who have never been to Marin City and live within 10 miles,” Thompkins said. “They go to Sausalito next door, but they never turn right on the highway and come to Marin City. They’re afraid to come. So they haven’t even had a chance to decide whether or not they want to be part of the solution.”

It all comes down to misconceptions. For example, Marin City, a historically black community, now has a multicultural population of 3,000. According to 2020 U.S. Census data for Marin City, 34% of residents are white, 27% black, 17% Latino, and 14% Asian.

Yet in a multiple-choice survey completed by Come to the Table participants, nearly a third responded that Marin City’s population was 80 percent black.

And Marin City is not actually a city, but rather an unincorporated area, without the autonomy of an elected mayor or city council. The Marin County Board of Supervisors, none of whom live in Marin City, makes decisions for residents.

Certainly, Marin City has a unique history and circumstances, but residents across the county share many of the same concerns. The housing crisis, environmental issues and climate change impact everyone.

I attended Come to the Table this month. Understanding the genesis of the event, I expected uncomfortable conversations. Not even close.

From the moment I entered the dining room at St. Andrew, I could see that the organizers had planned every aspect of the evening with intention. Upon check-in, friends and partners were invited to sit at different tables to ensure they met new people.

The dinner, prepared each month by a different Marin City caterer, is served at the table, allowing people to relax and focus on conversation. The advanced fundraiser covers the costs, and no one pays to attend the event.

Non-stop dialogue ensued at my table. We didn’t even need the prompts placed on each table, although I found them quite interesting. Most were related to the forum topic. However, a series of questions remains the same every month: what is your relationship with money? How did this influence your choices? How does this affect the way you view yourself?

Our discussions focused on issues like race, inequity, and social justice, but we also discussed the great equalizer: getting stuck on Highway 101 during the afternoon commute.

Tami Bell, who grew up in Marin City and now lives in Richmond, said he has spent most of his career in education; However, at age 77, he is preparing to take the bar exam in hopes of practicing education and social justice law. Bell, also a historian, is an expert on Marin City’s rich past.

Russ Pratt, a Tiburon resident, recounted his years of service with the Peace Corps in Botswana. After her family returned from Africa, her children witnessed racism for the first time: at a school in Marin County.

Yvonne Harris, a retired law firm executive, grew up in Marin City. Her family worked at Marinship building U.S. warships during World War II. Today, Harris lives in San Rafael. Sandy Smith lives at The Redwoods at Mill Valley, a retirement community, and has volunteered with Bridge the Gap in Marin City, a nonprofit organization that prepares students for college.

We connected on some level, the five of us. Even though I frequently attend events in Marin City, breaking bread with these people left me with ideas I had never thought of before.

Barbara Bogard, a seasoned organizer and activist, volunteers on the Come to the Table steering committee. I shared my enriching dinner experience with her and she considered it another success of the event.

“When you sit down with someone, share a meal with them and have a personal conversation, it really helps dispel any myths you might have about Marin City and the people who live there,” Bogard said. “It’s honestly the most favorite project I’ve ever worked on because we’re not fighting anyone.”

The after-dinner forum on health care disparities gave me more food for thought. The guest speakers were impressive, informative and accessible.

Dr. Elizabeth Talley, who grew up in Marin City and is a pediatric nephrologist and associate clinical professor at Stanford University, joined Marin County Public Health Director Dr. Matt Willis on the dais. Doctors shared grim statistics and personal experiences about health care inequality for people of color.

The life expectancy of a Marin City resident is 77 years. Just a mile away, in Sausalito, residents can expect to live 92 years. Talley and Willis were clear on the causes of this disparity: the failure to screen, diagnose and manage preventable diseases and chronic conditions. Willis identified these problems as social injustices.

Still, they offered the audience of about 120 people hope that change would come through better training of medical professionals and the recruitment of more people of color to work in the industry. In the meantime, Talley and Willis recommend that patients educate themselves, advocate for themselves, bring someone with them to their health care appointments and seek support in the community.

At the end of the forum, Thompkins introduced representatives from various Marin City organizations. He reports that real connections are made – long after the dinner is over – with attendees continuing their discussions and volunteering in Marin City.

“Coming to the table is not a destination,” Thompkins said. “When it works, it’s a bridge, a bridge for relationships.”

Come to the table, Environmentalism and Resilience, on Saturday, July 13. For more information, visit ctttmarin.org.