“I would like to die in the room where my son’s life ended,” says Rob Delaney

Rob Delaney said he would like to buy the house where his son died so he can also live out his final moments there.

The American comedian and actor’s son, Henry, died in 2018 at the age of two after being diagnosed with a brain tumor.

Delaney, 47, was asked on BBC Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs why he and his wife told Henry before anyone else that they were expecting their fourth son.

He replied, “He had to know that this family that loved him was alive and growing… that there would be another little nugget in the house that he could vibrate with, no matter what part of the cosmos he was in.”

Delaney said the couple also wanted Henry to know that after his death, his younger brother would be informed of his existence.

He added: “And we knew they would not overlap bodily on this Earth, even though Henry’s younger brother was born in the same room where Henry died, our living room.

“We don’t live there anymore, but when we moved, I asked the owner, ‘Listen, if you ever sell this place, let me know first because I’d like to buy it.’”

“So that when I’m 81, I can crawl in here and die. In the same room where my son died, in which my other son was born.”

“London took good care of him”

Delaney said he and his wife Leah had considered leaving London, but stayed in the city because of their memories of Henry.

“For many reasons we stayed, one being that I like to put my hands on the playground slides that Henry went down.

The American comedian said he sometimes bumped into the nurses who looked after Henry, adding: “London has looked after him really well – the NHS in general, the friends we’ve made, even our little boys’ friends… London has helped us and looked after us in so many ways.”

Delaney said he initially thought he would have a hard time welcoming a new member of his family because his heart had been “ripped into pieces and dissolved in salt – and it’s just rubbish.”

He said he thought, ‘I’m going to take care of this kid, I’m going to feed him, I’m going to put clothes on him that fit him (but) am I going to be able to love him? I don’t know if I can do that anymore.’

“And then the nanosecond he came out of my wife’s body, I looked at him and, you know, I started crying and I was so in love with him…and I love him desperately.”

“Honor your pain”

Speaking of her grief for Henry, Delaney said: “You have to… feel and honor your pain. You have to let it be – and you can’t run away from it. When feelings come, it’s best to let them be.”

The Catastrophe star has been sober for more than two decades after a car accident prompted him to quit drinking.

He said: “It’s nothing more interesting than basic alcoholism. You know, I found that drinking made me feel better, more complete, happier, more relaxed.

“You know, every time I had a drink, I was like, ‘That’s it.’ I started drinking when I was 12, and then I started drinking more regularly when I was 14.

“I had problems with alcoholism on both sides of my family. And then I had some, too, and… it doesn’t matter where you come from.”

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