Firefighter on duty misses birth of first child, wife refuses to speak to him for days

Giving birth is one of the most daunting and dangerous experiences a woman can go through. And while it’s worth it to finally hold your precious little baby in your arms, it’s definitely not an experience many moms want to go through alone.

So when a father missed the birth of his first child because he offered to cover for a friend at work, his wife was beyond furious. Below are the full story which the father detailed on Reddit asking for advice, as well as a conversation with Relationship Coach Jane Parker.

Childbirth is an extremely intense experience for mothers.

Photo credits: Jimmy Conover / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

So when this father missed the birth of his first child, his wife wasn’t sure she could ever forgive him.

Image credits: shotprime / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)

Photo credits: firedad

“The presence and support of a partner during childbirth can have a significant impact on the emotional connection and strength of the relationship.”

To better understand this situation, We got in touch with a UK based relationship coach Jane Parker. Jane was kind enough to chat with Bored Panda and we will shed light on why it is so important for both partners to be present at the birth of their child.

“This is a transformative event that can be physically and emotionally challenging. The mother will likely need the support and reassurance of her partner to reassure her and ensure she receives the care she needs,” Jane explained. “This momentous event is a time they will remember forever, providing an opportunity to build a deep connection and demonstrate their commitment to each other.”

“Many couples I’ve worked with remember the birth of their child as a defining moment, whether or not their partner’s presence met their expectations,” the relationship coach continues. “Women, in particular, tend to remember in detail how their partner reacted to the birth. This can often strengthen their bond or cause them to question their partner’s dedication.”

“The presence and support of a partner during birth and the postnatal period can have a significant impact on the emotional connection and strength of the relationship,” Jane added.

“This father should not have gone to work that day if there were signs of labor. At the very least, he should have gone home as soon as he found out she was in labor to support and reassure his wife,” the expert explains. “No matter how long the labor was predicted by the doctor, she was already scared and therefore already needed his presence.”

A healthy work-life balance is necessary to maintain a strong relationship

Jane says failing to achieve a healthy work-life balance can create problems in a relationship. “It’s one of the most common causes of relationship failure for my clients,” she notes. “The demands of work often leave couples with little time and focus on their relationship. Over time, they may begin to meet their emotional needs at work rather than at home, leading to a misalignment of priorities.”

The expert explained that making time for our partners is essential to maintaining strong relationships. “When this work-life balance is neglected, spouses can feel insignificant in their partner’s eyes, which often leads to communication breakdowns and emotional disconnect,” Jane told Bored Panda.

“Moments, activities and conversations that foster love and connection become scarce due to lack of time and energy. As a result, couples may find themselves drifting toward friendship-like dynamics rather than romantic relationships, or experiencing frequent conflict,” she added.

We also asked the expert what advice she would give to this couple. “This is a very sad situation. The mother clearly needs space to process her own emotions about her husband’s choices and to understand whether he will be a reliable husband and father in the future,” Jane explains. “It will feel risky for her to trust him again. She needs to feel safe and know that she can count on him to put their family first in the future.”

“He has to prove to her that she and their baby are his top priority, even if that sometimes means choosing them over his job.”

“The husband must respect her need for space and time and be reliable in all respects over a long period of time to help her learn to trust him again,” the relationship coach explained. “He must continue to show remorse and take full responsibility for his actions and choices.”

“If she wants to talk about it, he has to be willing to do it, even if he thinks there’s nothing left to talk about. He has to show her that she and their baby are his top priority, even if that means sometimes choosing them over his job,” Jane added.

“The mother is in a very difficult situation, as she has to adapt to life with a baby, in a strange house and with an uncertain future. She should give herself time, surround herself with people who support her and take good care of herself until she feels able to make the best decision about her marriage,” says the expert. “I also suggest that she seek professional help in the future to help her talk about what happened in a more constructive way.”

Finally, Jane added that the husband was extremely naive and grossly underestimated the physical and emotional distress women can experience during childbirth. “Giving birth alone after a stillbirth is incredibly more difficult,” she explained. “It seems he did not show his wife the empathy she needed during her pregnancy to allow her to make her decision.”