Hail to the silent warriors who continue to serve as housewives

“What do you do all day?” Aren’t you bored at home? These were the questions my friends and family asked me when I moved to Chandigarh. I had moved to be with my son during his internship while his university in Canada was closed for summer vacation.

The mother in me wanted to be with him until he was in India because I had left my job to visit him and be available until he returned. But my new role as a housewife has raised eyebrows and questions about my routine. As a working mother since he was one, I wanted to rid myself of the guilt of not being there enough for my child. So I decided to take care of everything without any household help, claiming that there were only two of us.

My husband stayed back in Punjab to take care of his professional and family obligations.

I didn’t know what I was heading towards, as I woke up every day to a new problem: faulty electronic gadgets, air conditioning problems, water purifier problems, light fluctuations, hydraulic motor failures, broken kitchen cabinets, leaking faucets, the list was endless. However, these two months in my new role came with many lessons that changed my perspective.

First of all, being a full-time mom and a housewife is not easy! You must be available 24/7 to procure and prepare food, run errands and dishes, dust, do laundry, answer doorbells, and tend to an army of guests. Many women live this way their entire lives, often in oblivion and without their tireless efforts being recognized. The only time they are challenged is when their husband, children and in-laws point out that the dish is not good enough. I have a new respect for housewives who work not only without being paid but also without being heard or seen.

The second lesson was to be grateful for everything you have and the choices you make in life. Be happy with your decision, whether a working woman or a full-time homemaker and embrace the responsibilities that come with it while being grateful for the opportunity to play this relevant role.

The third most important lesson I learned is to not let people take advantage of you. Speak up if you feel wronged. Although I had previously run a large household in a joint family with a full-time job, the new role of preparing three full meals a day in humid weather was overwhelming. By the time I had completed one task, it was time to move on to the next one. My daily routine, including yoga, reading, nature walks, writing, online business, took a backseat.

Women often forget to take care of themselves when taking care of others. Even though my experience was temporary, many women put off their dreams their entire lives to be there for their families who don’t even recognize them.

The words of Audre Lorde, American writer and philosopher, resonate powerfully: “I am not free when no woman is, even when her chains are very different from mine. »

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The writer is a freelance contributor based in Hoshiarpur.