Wedding guest notices horror over dress color – ‘How can I explain’

Wedding etiquette is changing all the time – and one woman was shocked to realize she had ignored a newer rule.

A video posted to TikTok by Vanessa Taylor (@vanessa_taylor1) went viral after the woman shared her panic; she realized two hours after driving to a wedding that she had accidentally packed a red dress. Since the clip was posted on September 27, it has received more than 464,000 likes and more than 2,800 comments from confused users.

“How can I explain this?” Taylor captioned the video. News week spoke with New York wedding planner and owner of Lee Ramsay Events, Lee Ramsay, about the red dress debacle and when the rule came about.

Traditionally, wearing red to a wedding has been frowned upon in some Western cultures due to the boldness of the color, Ramsay said; this could potentially divert attention from the bride.

In some cultures, red can even symbolize bad luck or conflict, making it an especially delicate choice for guests. “It’s almost the equivalent of saying ‘I object’ at the altar,” Ramsay said.

Taylor, the poster, heard that wearing red to a wedding means you were intimate with the groom. She revealed this finding in the comments, but not everyone knew about it.

“Wait, what’s wrong with wearing a red dress to a wedding?” one person wrote. “I’m so confused that I thought as long as it’s not white, or almost white, then it should be fine.”

As modern weddings evolve and embrace diversity, so do the rules surrounding guest attire. Ramsay said it depends on the context and is constantly changing.

“In the current fashion scenario, strict rules of etiquette are evolving. Some cultures associate red with prosperity, love and good luck,” said Ramsay. “For example, wearing bright red to a Chinese wedding is considered a compliment.”

To facilitate discussion, Ramsay said wedding guests should always check the wedding dress code, or any mood board made by the couple, to ensure their outfit matches the vision for the event. If there’s no guidance or mood board, there’s no harm in asking the couple or planner directly, Ramsay added.

Ultimately, he said he believes the key to wedding guest attire is balancing personal taste with respect for the couple’s wishes.

“Red dresses, along with other clothing that may draw attention, should be considered in the context of the wedding,” said Ramsay. “Ask yourself: Will I divert the celebrants’ attention? Sensitivity and consideration are essential for guests.”

News week I reached out to @vanessa_taylor1 for comment via TikTok.