I was shocked by the sexism displayed at my son’s sports day

I was 32 when I took part in my first Sports Day. It’s not something that happens in Spain, where I grew up.

So when my son, then 5, came home from school and told me all about it, I was as excited as he was.

But when the day came, my excitement turned to confusion.

I realized it wasn’t the event I thought it was.

Instead of playing together and competing with each other, the children were divided into groups of boys and girls. I didn’t understand why children as young as five were being classified according to their gender.

When I asked others if they found this strange, they seemed indifferent: “It’s been like this forever.”

Why, after all the progress made over the last decade, do we continue to reinforce the idea that when it comes to sport, girls and boys are different?

Don’t get me wrong, I think Sports Day has great value. I love seeing the kids’ enthusiasm, their laughter as they walk leg to leg with their classmates, or the look of concentration on their faces as they balance the egg on the spoon.

I love the sense of camaraderie and community that these events create for children and their families.

But as a feminist, I find the way schools categorize children based on gender not only sexist but unnecessary.

My son and his sister still participate in Sports Day, but now we also use these events as a conversation piece. We celebrate the other kids, marvel at the girl who climbs the monkey bars like a soldier, and talk about the hobbies of those kids who aren’t really interested in sports.

According to the Women’s Sports Foundation, “there is no physiological reason to separate women and men in athletic competition” before puberty. They are physically equal.

The only difference is the one we have created as a society. By categorizing children this way, we are creating a bias.

Most of the time, we are not even aware of the nonverbal messages we are sending.

If we look at primary school children, we see that boys are often given footballs, rackets and team uniforms, all of which encourage movement and make them understand that sport is something they should be interested in.

While girls are given objects that focus on caring for others and their appearance, non-competitive toys like dolls, makeup and kitchens.

Or, let’s look at school uniforms. If the school has them, they are usually pants for boys and skirts for girls. This not only visually distinguishes them, but it also physically limits the activities that girls can participate in.

These small, seemingly unpretentious gestures send strong messages to our children and when boys arrive at school, they monopolize the large spaces of the playground to play “their games”, while girls are socialized to play quietly, to chat. A powerful message that indicates to whom the most important interests belong.

All of these elements contribute to maintaining limiting beliefs based on gender.

Women in Sport found that girls as young as five do not feel they belong in sport, with 57% of parents saying their daughters have felt excluded physical activity.

Surprisingly, 26% of respondents said it was because their daughter had been told it wasn’t for girls. Even European champion Lionesses were discouraged from playing football as children.

We need to stop making children believe that their sporting abilities are different because of their gender. In doing so, we are letting many female sporting talents slip through the cracks.

We do not encourage girls to see themselves as equal to boys and, more worryingly, we do not teach boys to see girls as their equals.

We also fail boys who don’t like sports and we seriously fail non-binary children or those whose parents are non-binary. On the playground and in the classroom, it is essential that every child feels included.

We need to help children question the narrative they are being told and encourage them to question their deeply held beliefs and traditions. Even if that means questioning the adults around them.

I often share my thoughts on events like Sports Day with my kids and ask them what they think. I do this because I want them to develop critical thinking skills, even if (or I hope!) it means I’m the one whose outdated opinions are being challenged by them.

So how should we approach Sports Day this year?

And what about age? Divide the children by the month they were born. It’s objective and fair. Certainly a child born in June competing with someone born 11 months before (20% of their lifespan) seems more unfair, regardless of their genitals.

And why not ask who prefers pizza to fries? Or the color yellow to purple? Literally, any way, except by protected categories.

I understand that some people think it is useless. After all, this is how we have always done it. But if we really want to fight gender inequality in sports, education and life, we must show courage.

We need to look at the data, assess the impact, and choose to do better now that we know more. Change can be scary, but It is necessary to change these seemingly small things to tackle the larger inequalities and level the playing field.

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