Wild Wild Punjab: A 120-minute parade of bumbling incompetents

For over a decade now, a particular genre of film has been taking shape in Bollywood. Let’s call it the “I hate women but I can’t live without them” genre of film. Or, simply, “Mission Misogyny.”

Truth be told, with a few exceptions, most Indian films exhibit varying degrees and shades of sexism. Some invisibilize or patronize women, others exploit them. Using raw, brutal violence against women as a ploy to catapult heroes into righteous combat is almost a rite of passage for most action thriller directors and actors. But this particular genre of women-hating films is different. It exists because women exist.

In this warped worldview, true heaven is that place on earth where grown men can freely behave like lustful teenagers. They must deceive and trick women because, well, that’s how men can have innocent fun. But women who do just that are devious, heartless witches who must be condemned to burn in the hell of humiliation.

So all the energy, money and effort is spent on forging a brotherhood around elaborate and insane plans to show women the middle finger because, it seems, it is the only way for men to assert their virility.

Luv Ranjan, writer, director and producer, who directed ‘Pyaar Ka Punchnama’ in 2011 and then other films of the same genre, is one of the founding members of this film genre. ‘Wild Wild Punjab’ is written and co-produced by him. To say ‘written’ is an exaggeration because this film is just a mix of Hollywood’s ‘The Hangover’, Ranjan’s own ‘Punchnama’ and director Mrighdeep Singh Lamba’s ‘Fukrey’ series in a new setting.

Wild Wild Punjab has no story. It is what can best be called a situation: an attractive and unfaithful young woman lives in an office in an unknown city in Punjab. On a seemingly routine office day, she decides to do naughty things with her boss and then dumps her boyfriend who tells her “I love you”. The unfaithful woman also informs her dumped boyfriend Khanna (Varun Sharma) that she has to marry the aforementioned boss in Pathankot.

Khanna is at a loss. He grabs one of those old razor blades and a cheese knife, rushes to an open-air bar, consumes indeterminate quantities of intoxicating liquids, and then, perched on the parapet, does ini-mini-mani-mo. He doesn’t know whether to slit his wrist with the blade or slice himself thinly with the cheese knife.

This pivotal moment occurs quite early, about six or seven minutes into the film. And if no one had intervened, the film could have ended there and spared us all a lot of torture.

But his two friends, Arora (Sunny Singh) and Jain (Jassie Gill), arrive at the right time to suggest an alternative plan: Khanna must go to Pathankot and tell the cheater, to her face, at her wedding, “I forgot you.”

Khanna is elated, everyone says cheers and is soon joined by Honey Paaji (Manjot Singh). United by the code of brothers and their corresponding stupidity, the four set off in Honey Paaji’s car to mend Khanna’s broken heart.

“Wild Wild West” is set in Punjab, so the men are called Arore, Khanne, Jainu. Arore is a slightly dim-witted stud and a womanizer who lies, kisses and repeats; Jainu, who is terrified of his greedy father, is soon to be engaged; Honey Paaji, who runs a truck company, loves her dead papaji and his car.

En route to Pathankot, the film meanders needlessly through incredibly silly situations which, in the hands of better writers and directors like ‘Hangover’ and ‘Fukrey’, would have been funny.

The “Wild Wild West” team seems to think that confusing writing, stale situations, general chaos and characters who behave like idiots are the ingredients of a comedy. So we’re treated to some dazzling images and sounds.

Khanne, in between whining and drinking, climbs on Paaji’s car and urinates on a toll plaza. Jainu continues to sulk but finds himself a better half (Patralekhaa). Arore continues to check out girls until he is knocked over by one Meera (Ishita Raj) who, incidentally, is a grade C version of Bholi Punjaban from ‘Fukrey’ (played by Richa Chaddha).

Meanwhile, Honey Paaji continues to try to save her car from accidents and floral decorations, slaps a policeman and makes some feeble attempts to inject some sense into this absurdity.

Eventually, they all find themselves being chased by two trigger-happy drug lords in brown chenille tracksuits, while a bullet lodges in Khanne’s buttocks and we’re forced to watch it over and over and over again.

Much like Ranjan’s ‘Pyaar Ka Punchnama’, director Simarpreet Singh’s ‘Wild Wild Punjab’ pools the resources of men so that a whiny ex-boyfriend can snub his mean girlfriend in public. The difference is that despite its misogyny, ‘Punchnama’ is funny and has excellent performances.

While “Wild Wild Punjab” is a 120-minute parade of bumbling incompetence, everything that went into its creation – writing, directing and acting – is a source of increasing irritation and endless boredom.

Discretion is strongly advised.

Wild and wild Punjab

Casting: Varun Sharma, Sunny Singh, Manjot Singh, Jassie Gill, Patralekhaa, Ishita Raj

Direction: Simarpreet Singh

Rating: 1/5

Streaming on Netflix