Are the Rees-Moggs ready for their new reality?

I felt some concern for Sir Jacob Rees-Mogg when I heard that he had agreed to let an American television network make a reality show about his family. I imagine most people thought, “Are you completely mad?” But having appeared on several reality shows and been followed by a BBC film crew for a passing documentary, I don’t think it was necessarily a mistake. It all depends on how the Rees-Moggs are portrayed, and while I doubt they can control that (having the “final cut” on such programmes is a rarity), they should be able to influence it.

The first thing Jacob and his family need to understand is that they are not in a documentary, they are in a drama. This is obvious to anyone who spends five minutes watching keeping up with the Kardashians The “reality” that is being documented is actually a series of intersecting narratives revolving around the actors and their romantic relationships, creating a kind of soap opera. And these narratives are scripted by the show’s producers. Not in the sense that their words are written for them, although I imagine they are strongly encouraged to be. What I mean is that the producers will have a clear idea of ​​what each character’s “story” is, and that will dictate what they choose to film and, more importantly, how to put the resulting footage together. It sounds scary, as if Jacob, his wife Helena, and their six children are just puppets who are assigned different roles in a story that the producers are unwilling to deviate from.

To some extent, this is true, but the Rees-Moggs can take comfort in the fact that the arc given to each “character” will be the standard hero’s journey in which they are given a common psychological “wound”, such as a lack of self-confidence, and then presented with a series of challenges that they must overcome and, in the process, discover inner strengths that will allow them to “heal”. If you watch the original Star Wars movie and pay attention to the character of Luke Skywalker, you will get the idea. This “journey” is the standard dramatic arc throughout the entertainment industry and Meet the Rees-Moggs it won’t be any different.

I guess Jacob is well aware of this. No doubt the highlight of episode 1 will be his loss of seat and the line he quoted Chitty Chitty Bang Bang In his farewell speech, “From the ashes of disaster grow the roses of success,” he perfectly sets up his arc for the rest of the series. It’s essentially going to be about how this failure teaches him something about himself that allows him to become an even more successful politician than he was before.

But he should understand that the filmmakers will not be interested in his analysis of the Tory Party’s mistakes over the past 14 years and how it should respond to the rise of Reform. Instead, they will want him to acknowledge his failings as MP for North East Somerset and Hanham, which may prove difficult for him. He will have to do some soul-searching – “I may have been too emotionally distant from my constituents” – and then redeem himself through a trial by fire. The climax of season five will be a new, more sensitive Jacob taking back his old Labour seat in 2029.

Helena Rees-Mogg’s storyline will likely mirror her husband’s, with producers encouraging her to take more time for herself – facials, spas and the like. She’ll be pushed to tell Jacob she feels underappreciated, and he’ll respond by offering to take the kids to the local fair and do the washing up. This will culminate in a “date night” where the little Rees-Moggs cook a candlelit meal for their parents, with a subplot in which the kids realise they’re unconsciously acting out toxic gender stereotypes, with poor Mary left to do the cooking and Peter acting as butler. This sequence will end with Peter helping his dad with the washing up.

I exaggerate a little, but only a little. The formula of these shows rarely changes. Half the fun will be watching the snobbish Rees-Moggs try not to say anything snobbish while they are integrated into this plebeian template. I have no doubt they will succeed in biting their tongues, which is important because they need to win over not only the audience but the producers as well. The secret to success is to charm those who make the programme. If you can make them like you, they will be nicer in the editing room. I am sure Sir Jacob and his family will have no difficulty in that regard.