SCIENTIFICALLY IMPOSSIBLE / Former supporters are regularly shocked by Lul Basha’s new deception

TIRANA – It was a difficult decision to make a few days ago, when those sitting next to, behind and beside Luljan Basha, declared that they had finally realized that Luli had deceived them this time, and gathered their minds to form a new party, without the thunderous presence of the eggplant-haired leader.

“It never occurred to us that it would work out for us like this. He had given no signs that he would adopt this behavior, ” said the children who were lied to, deceived and mocked by Basha, at least ten times each during these years.

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Well-informed voices say that since Dr. Penxherja called him to appoint him as head of the DP here twenty years ago, he realized that Luljani was a born pehlivan.

“This Flying Dutchman is a high-caliber skunk,” he told his daughter excitedly, when he discovered that Luli had come with a Dutch diploma that he had never shown, “Science has studied his type. The species is called Absentia colonnus vertebrae vulgaris. That is to say, it is a leaf that is missing a spine, it is impossible to keep its word. Let us make sure to put him as a candidate for succession if I pretend to leave one day. He has deception in his blood, so he thought one day that he would have me, he cannot be defeated without deceiving even those with whom he will form a group to oppose me.”

In fact, that’s exactly what happened. When Lilo Çepani complained to the doctor that Luli was cheating on her even about the watch, she meant it in the first sense of the word.

“Oh, doctor.” he said, “If he did something for me for a lek, I would forgive him because we all came for this job. You lied to me about the time. I asked him once, when he was looking at the clock, and he told me very seriously, a quarter to five. In reality, it was twenty past three. That’s unheard of!”

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Over the years, from one ministry to another, from one brother-in-law affair to another, from one corner to another, with an inseparable smile on his face, Luljani has perfected the art of deceiving for the sake of deceiving. And the day that brought him the biggest smile, although it looked sad at first glance, was when the doctor lost the 2013 elections and resigned, winking at Luli. Erla cried so much, Jozefina sobbed that she finished all the beans, they all cried.

“Congratulations Carrata, you will become the leader of the party, ” said the doctor to Luli, “but “Be careful with your head.”

“Don’t worry, boss, I will do as we discussed.” replied Luli, who meanwhile was thinking about her next plans.

As a giant leader of the opposition, he believed that in order to appear threatening and serious, he had to use the dramatic expression: “You were just walking on my body…” Every time he announced an unwavering decision, the decisions and promises were broken so regularly that if so many people had actually passed over his body, Luljani would now have taken the form of a cigarette paper.

Yes, he didn’t mind. He laughed and clarified: “I didn’t say it exactly like that, you’re forgetting the context…”.

***

As the doctor had predicted, Luljani was working hard on the next project. Together with Gjati, they convinced the Americans that the doctor should be removed from the political scene because he was hindering the new generation and the fate of the homeland was in danger. And when this happened and the doctor found himself non-gratis above the window, Basha’s supporters in parliament became more numerous than ever.

“Now you will see the real Luli.” They said to the democratic base: ” that until now we were all under the thumb of this tyrant, the doctor.

Yes, the base, like Lilua, had been the victim of Luli’s ploy, no one knows how many times. The desolate Alibeu, as well as Beiko and Lazarati, were tired of convincing people that the doctor’s time was over because America had put a black seal on him. Few believed him. Gaz Bardhi also joined them, but he was then told to stay at the central headquarters in Tirana, because they looked at him when he went down to the base, as if they wanted to hit him with a birch.

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When the doctor’s opponents lost the party seal and logo, Basha told them that they would form a new party, but that they would first have to appeal the court’s decision. “You are creating the organization,” he said, “because I came.”

That was Lulu’s standard expression when she cheated.

“Go ahead, I’m here”, “get ready, you’re coming”, “start, I’ll meet you there”, were his classic phrases, with which he lied even when allowed to have coffee with him.

There they realized that they had no hope. They could not return to the doctor, but they did not want to either, because they had declared themselves pro-American. But they could not remain without expressing their disappointment in Luljani.

“We didn’t know he was so deceptive,” Alibeu, Bejko and the others said for the hundredth time: “He completely disappointed us!”

PS patronage sources indicate that after the irrefutable offer he received from the Zen Blueberry Trust, Luljani will spend some time as leader of a group he himself invented, the Euro-Atlantic Democrats, and then retire with a smile as the last one off the stage.

Note: The Patronageist is a slightly more serious satirical column than The Flying Dutchman.