Helping Children Respond to Racial and Emotional Stressors

As the start of the school year approaches, many parents are focused on ensuring their children are well prepared and have the right supplies, schedules, and routines. For Black children and other marginalized youth, an equally important part of back-to-school preparation is providing them with the tools to manage the racial and emotional stressors they may encounter at school. In a society where systemic racism still permeates many areas of life, schools are not immune to the effects of racial discrimination, microaggressions, and social exclusion.

For Black and marginalized youth, these stressors can lead to serious mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, and even trauma reactions. Helping your child develop strategies to manage these stressors is not only critical to their emotional well-being, but also to their academic success and self-esteem.

In this article, we’ll look at how you can teach your child to respond to racial and emotional stressors as the school year approaches. With the right tools and support, children can learn to navigate these challenges while developing resilience and a strong sense of racial pride.

1. Start talking about race and emotions early

One of the most effective ways to prepare children for race-related stressors is to repeatedly engage in conversations about race and emotions early in life. This process, called racial socialization, involves teaching children about their racial identity, the reality of racial bias, and coping strategies they can use to navigate a world that doesn’t always treat them fairly.

For younger children, this may mean discussing concepts like fairness, kindness, and empathy, and using age-appropriate examples of how people may be treated differently because of their skin color. For older children, more direct conversations about systemic racism, racial history, and the impact of discrimination are important. Encourage your child to ask questions, express their feelings, and be honest about their experiences of racism or exclusion.

In addition to talking about race, it’s essential to also discuss emotions. Help your child identify and name their emotions—whether they’re anger, sadness, frustration, or confusion—and assure them that it’s okay to feel upset when they’re being treated unfairly. Teaching emotional literacy, or the ability to understand and express emotions, gives children a foundation to manage their feelings and ask for help when needed.

2. Teach your child how to cope with racial stressors

When children face racial discrimination, microaggressions, or social exclusion, they need coping strategies that help them process and manage their emotional reactions. Here are some ways to support your child:

• Deep breathing and mindfulness: Teach your child simple breathing exercises or mindfulness techniques that can help them stay calm when faced with stress. These exercises can be practiced anywhere, from the classroom to the cafeteria, and can be especially helpful when faced with unexpected or hurtful comments.
• Positive affirmations: Encourage your child to practice positive affirmations that reaffirm their self-esteem and racial pride. Phrases such as “I am proud of who I am” or “I am strong and capable” can help combat negative messages they may receive from others.
• Keep a journal: Keeping a journal can help children process their emotions and reflect on their experiences in a safe, private space. This is especially helpful for older children who may not feel comfortable sharing their experiences with others right away.
• Ask for help: Remind your child that they don’t have to overcome these challenges alone. Teach them to identify trusted adults at school, such as teachers, counselors, or school administrators, who can offer help if they experience discrimination or unfair treatment.

3. Role-playing responses to discrimination and microaggressions

One way to empower your child is to teach them how to respond to discriminatory remarks or microaggressions. Role-playing different scenarios can give them a sense of control and confidence in handling these situations. For example:

• Ignore hurtful comments: Teach your child that sometimes the best response is to simply walk away from a hurtful comment. Not every situation requires a response, especially if it’s clear the other person isn’t willing to understand.
• Ask a question: This strategy is commonly referred to as “Return to Sender.” Asking questions such as “What did you mean by that?” and “How do you think it makes someone feel when they speak/look/act that way?” is often effective in getting the abuser to think about their words and the impact of their actions. This can be effective in reducing rumination (replaying the same encounters over and over) that can lead to anxiety because it relieves your child of the pressure of being the recipient of a harmful message by “returning” the stressor back to the sender.
• Assertive responses: Help your child adopt assertive but calm responses, such as “What you said is not true and I don’t appreciate that” or “Please don’t make comments like that about me or anyone else.” These types of responses allow him to stand up for himself without escalating the situation.
• Ask for help: If the situation continues or becomes too difficult to handle, teach your child that it is okay to ask a teacher or other trusted adult for help. Let your child know that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

4. Develop racial pride and resilience at home

A strong sense of racial identity and pride can serve as a protective factor for children facing racial stressors. As a parent, you can foster this pride by teaching your child about their racial and cultural heritage, celebrating Black history and accomplishments, and surrounding them with positive representations of Blackness in books, media, and other cultural resources.

Additionally, expose your child to role models who reflect their identity, whether in your community, through mentoring programs, or in their extended family. When children are proud of their heritage and feel part of a larger community, they are more likely to develop resilience in the face of discrimination.

5. Encourage self-care and mental health support

Finally, it’s important to teach your child the importance of self-care and seeking mental health support when needed. School can be a stressful environment for many reasons, and adding racial stressors to the mix can have a negative impact on your child’s mental health.

Encourage your child to participate in activities that bring them joy and relaxation, whether it’s sports, art, music, or spending time with friends. Additionally, normalize the idea of ​​seeking help from a therapist or professional counselor, especially if they’re struggling with their emotions or have experienced more serious incidents of racial trauma.

If you notice your child exhibiting signs of prolonged anxiety, depression, or withdrawal, it may be helpful to seek help from a mental health professional who has experience working with marginalized youth. Addressing mental health early can prevent more serious problems from developing later.

Conclusion

When your child returns to school, preparing them to manage racial and emotional stressors is essential for success, both academically and personally. By having open conversations, teaching coping skills, role-playing, building racial pride, and encouraging self-care, you can empower your child to overcome the challenges they may face in a positive and healthy way. Remember, resilience isn’t built overnight, but with consistent support, your child can become a confident, empowered individual ready to take on the world.

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