A year after Hamas attack destroyed their community, returning home still seems impossible

KFAR AZA, Israel (AP) — On a sunny day on Kibbutz Kfar Aza, Liora Eilon stood where her son was killed. She picked up a figurine from among the belongings scattered in a nearby abandoned house.

“Every time we come here, Tal leaves us a little message,” says this 71-year-old woman, turning the plastic soldier over in her hands.

It has been a year since Hamas militants stormed into this community and killed Tal Eilon, 46, a commander of the civil defense squad.

Liora Eilon now lives in a university dormitory in northern Israel and wonders if she will ever return to this place, etched in Israeli history for that day of mass death, when militants killed some 1,200 people and took around 250 others hostage. The attack sparked an Israeli campaign in Gaza that killed more than 41,600 Palestinians.

“How can I trust the government that abandoned me here, that betrayed me, that promised me my family was safe here? she asked.

About 50 of Kfar Aza’s 1,000 residents have returned, living in homes burned by explosives and reduced to rubble.

Others are scattered throughout the country. The Associated Press spoke with a dozen people who shared feelings of vulnerability about future attacks and concerns about the Israeli military, the government and Palestinians in Gaza.

Some wondered if such a place could ever be inhabited again.

“Are we going to live inside a memorial?” Are we going to see a plaque every few feet, he was killed here and he was killed here? asked Zohar Shpack, 58.

The land still bears the traces of that day. Gardener Rafael Friedman still finds teeth and bones in the soil of Kfar Aza – probably the remains of Hamas militants killed in the fighting.

Kfar Aza has always been very united. Now, photos of murdered young people are displayed everywhere.

The government says it will rebuild. At the same time, she is building prefabricated houses for residents of another kibbutz, where two-thirds of the community plans to move.

Some said they were unsure if they would ever feel safe returning to Kfar Aza.

They first want to know why the army took so long to respond to the attack. The army opened an investigation but has not released results. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has dismissed calls for accountability until the war ends.

Simona Steinbrecher feels too stuck in time to make a decision. His daughter, Doron, is one of 66 Israelis still detained. Hamas held the bodies of 35 other people.

Steinbrecher, 65, last saw his daughter in a Hamas propaganda video.

“Without Doron, it’s still October 7,” his mother said. “And we’re not going home until she’s home.”

Many residents of Kfar Aza will boycott the government ceremony commemorating October 7. Instead, they will organize a small tribute and lower the kibbutz flag to half-mast.

Residents said they admired the troops who fought that day, but were furious with the military’s top brass, blaming them for a command structure that collapsed when the kibbutz had it most. need.

Eilon is seized with fury and astonishment as she recounts the 35 hours of horror endured by her family.

When the sirens sounded that Saturday morning, Eilon figured it would take a few minutes for the army to arrive. It took hours.

His family rushed to their safe. A son and daughter closed the door against the armed men who tried to enter. The granddaughters, Gali and Mika, were hiding under the bed. Eilon received a message that his son Tal had gone to fight.

The five men gathered in the vault, hearing the screams and gunshots of the attackers, unsure whether Tal was dead or alive. Israeli troops eventually took control of their home.

However, the troops did not evacuate the family. It was not until Sunday afternoon, when the militants were again hiding in the house, that the soldiers chased them away.

As she ran, Eilon saw a tank swing its cannon towards her house. He fired, collapsing his house on the activists inside.

Shortly after being rescued, Eilon learned that Tal was dead.

“I knew it all along,” she said. “But part of me hoped he was injured, that he was unconscious in a hospital.”

As the battle raged, some residents were evacuated in military jeeps. Hanan Dann recounted the passage of soldiers in front of the kibbutz, who seemed to be waiting for orders.

“I wanted to say that there is still fighting inside, that there are people dying,” he said. “They could have saved them.”

Soldiers and militants fought in Kfar Aza for days. Ultimately, the militants killed 64 civilians and 22 soldiers, dragging 19 hostages to Gaza.

Nearby is a decrepit water tower, a remnant of Be’erot Yitzhak, a kibbutz abandoned after a deadly Egyptian attack in 1948 during the war over Israel’s creation.

“Will this be what Kfar Aza will look like in 10 years? » Dann asked. “Just a stop on the highway that I can point out to my kids? »

Even those who want to return know that Kfar Aza will never be the same. Shpack said he understands why no one would bring a child here.

“Even after the bombs are gone, how will you be able to raise him here? How do you explain what happened here?

For some, the fate of the kibbutz is linked to Gaza. Until there is a peace deal with the Palestinians, they say they will find themselves under attack again.

Eilon wants a new government that will discuss with the Palestinians to find “an arrangement allowing us to live together on the same land”.

“I dream for the day of an open fence from here to the sea, with two people living together.”