A great escape from London's dairy delights

In a crime that would raise eyebrows even the most seasoned heist movie screenwriters, London’s Neal’s Yard Dairy has fallen victim to a daring cheesemonger, with robbers posing as wholesalers to steal as much as 22 tons of luxury cheddar.

According to reports, the scam unfolded like a scene from a comedy of errors: the thieves duped the dairy’s warehouse staff and convinced them that they were legitimate suppliers for a well-known French retailer. In what can only be described as a cheap plot twist, more than 950 wheels of premium cheddar, worth around ₹ 300,000 (or more than Rs 3 crore), disappeared before anyone caught on to the ruse.

The Metropolitan Police have confirmed they are investigating this dairy disaster, stating: “On Monday 21 October we received a report of the theft of a large quantity of cheese from a Southwark manufacturer. Investigations into the circumstances are ongoing.” However, no arrests have been made so far, leaving the cheese-loving community in shock.

Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver joined the outrage, taking to Instagram to express his disbelief at the robbery of “epic proportions.” He lamented: “As many as 22 tonnes of premium cheddar have disappeared, leaving the cheese world reeling.” The only thing sharper than the cheddar in this story seems to be the humor of those who respond to it.

Despite the significant loss, Neal’s Yard Dairy has pledged to compensate affected small-scale producers – Hafod, Westcombe and Pitchfork – so they do not bear the financial burden of this blatant theft. “It’s a world where your word is your bond,” says Patrick Holden, owner of Hafod, emphasizing the deep-rooted trust that characterizes the artisan cheese community.

The stolen cheeses weren’t just any cheddar; they include award-winning varieties that are carefully crafted and offer tremendous value. Tom Calver from Westcombe Dairy explained the painstaking efforts required to produce their cheese, saying: “The process started almost three years ago… And to steal that… it’s absolutely horrible.”

As police continue to investigate, the cheese industry is left to wonder how such a sophisticated scam could happen. One can only hope that the perpetrators are caught before they try to sell their ill-gotten gains at the next cheese fair.

In the meantime, Neal’s Yard Dairy isn’t letting this setback tarnish its reputation. As the dairy weathers the aftermath of these cheddar capers, one thing is clear: Trust may have been shattered in the world of artisanal cheese, but the love for quality cheese remains unwavering. So if you happen to come across a suspiciously large stash of cheddar wheels, you might want to call the police, or at least share a cheese plate with your friends to distract from the theft!