Dad challenges gender norms in viral TikTok with pink nails and support for son

When six-year-old Finley Weaver came home from school upset, his parents, Doug and Kirsten, knew something had to change. Their son, who loved rainbows, unicorns and pink nail polish, was teased express themselves outside traditional gender norms. Instead of discouraging Finley, Doug sent a powerful message to his son and everyone around him.

A father takes a stand

Doug Weaver, an artist and teacher from St. Louis, Missouri, shared his response in a now viral TikTok video with 158.6K views.

@dougweaverart @Mel | The raising of boys by medical students is scary because we know how much society is built to break them down. #Gentlemen #masculinity #parenting #boydad #greenscreenvideo ♬ original sound – dougweaverart

“As soon as my son came home from school with that message – kids telling him he couldn’t wear pink or that unicorns were for girls – I decided to add so much pink to my wardrobe. “I’ve basically been ‘pinking’ my whole life,” Doug explained.

But it wasn’t just about clothes. Doug also started painting his nails, as Finley liked to do. “If Finley goes to school with painted nails, I know some parents will question that. But when they also see my nails painted, the message changes. It’s like, ‘Oh, it’s not the child that’s the problem, it’s his father.’

Doug’s actions were a simple but powerful way to let Finley know he had someone on his side – and to challenge the outdated norms that caused the teasing in the first place. The Weavers’ approach reflects the principles of gender-neutral parentingwhere children are encouraged to explore interests and self-expression, free from societal stereotypes.

The video struck a chord and prompted an outpouring of support from parents and allies, many of whom shared similar experiences. One commenter @theytellmeicanchangethis shared: “My husband got his ears pierced with our daughter, wears pink, cooks and is an equal partner in housework.

We also offer our sons the glitter and spa days.” Another commenter wrote: “My six year old son has long hair and paints his nails because He likes it. We live in Kentucky and it’s a challenge for him to be himself. Even with family. This helps. Thank you.”

The science behind parental support

Doug’s actions are more than heartwarming: they align with research showing how parental support affects a child’s mental health. A study published in Pediatrics states, “Parents and caregivers’ responses to their child’s gender identity or expression play a critical role in their mental health.”

Affirming parents like Doug promote resilience and self-confidence, while rejection increases the risk of anxiety and depression. It reminds us that small, intentional actions like painting your nails or wearing pink can have a profound impact.

This link between parental support and mental health is especially important given the way young children begin to internalize gender norms. By the time children are just 2 or 3 years old, they begin to associate toys, colors and activities with specific genders. research from the Reimagine Gender initiative. These signals often come from their environment: parents, peers and even the media.

As children grow older, these norms become more and more entrenched. This is evident from a global study in fifteen countries that by age 10, children have deeply internalized gender stereotypes, which can limit their interests and ambitions. For many children, these stereotypes create barriers to discovering their full potential.

Doug’s decision to openly challenge these norms not only supports Finley, but also sends a powerful message to others: children should not be limited to outdated ideas about what boys and girls “should” like or do.

Navigating trust and self-preservation

Doug understands the challenges of standing out, having grown up as “the theater kid” in a small town in Oregon. Now, as a father, he’s determined to be the parent who says, “You do that too.”

But even the most supportive parents face tough moments. For example, although Finley loves painting his nails, he is aware of possible reactions at school. Sometimes he paints them on Friday so that the color fades before Monday. It’s a delicate balance between self-expression and managing social dynamics.

“He has to decide how much he wants to experience, how much fear he wants to face,” says Doug TODAY. “Pushing back these rigid norms is powerful, but it also brings with it the need for self-preservation.”

A rainbow of possibilities

Doug and Kirsten have made conscious choices to expose Finley to a world of diverse, wonderful possibilities.

“We expose him to all kinds of people with different backgrounds, beliefs and styles,” says Doug. “The more he sees, the more options he will have when he finds out who he is.”

This approach is paying off. Despite the occasional side-eye, Finley is thriving. His classmates accept and celebrate him, especially in a class where other children also challenge traditional gender norms.

‘He’s not the only one. Do you see those other kids in his class who are bravely being themselves? That gives him the courage to do the same,” says Doug.

Challenging gender norms, manicure by manicure

Ultimately, the Weavers remind us of what matters most: raising children who are confident, kind, and unapologetically themselves. And if that means a few more dads have to bring out the pink nail polish, we’re all for it.