How to Survive the Great War of Office Politics

Being co-opted into a war you didn’t sign up for is like being handed a grenade during a quiet lunch break. Suddenly you’re at risk of an explosion, you’re forced to clean up a mess you had no hand in making, and worst of all, you’re going to miss lunch.

Early in my career, a proverbial grenade landed right in my lap.

I had just joined the company and as the lowly junior in the department, I was somehow assigned the unenviable role of reporting to not one, but two supervisors.

As the kids say: big oof.

My supervisors Marianne and Sandy (not their real names) had a long and legendary friendship. They completed the same degree at the same university and were hired by the company at the same time. Same job title, same everything.

In peacetime we were a happy little trio who occasionally lunched together, basking in the illusion of collegial harmony.

But one fateful morning, the gods of the workplace decided to throw a curveball: Sandy got a promotion.

Marianne did not take the news well – and she decided that the ideal coping strategy for herself would be to simply stop talking to Sandy. And when I say “stopped,” I mean a complete cessation of communication.

Hello? Not recognised. Meetings? A series of awkward, awkward silences that made me wish I could sink into my chair and disappear.

Don’t mention those halcyon lunch breaks.

At that time I was also promoted to the prestigious role of… the messenger.

I was the child in the middle of a bitter divorce, with neither parent willing to talk directly to the other.

“Can you let Sandy know that the report needs her approval before we send it to Chris?”

“Kelvin, please let Marianne know that I have looked at the report and there are quite a few numbers missing.”

“Would you be kind enough to let Sandy know that she definitely doesn’t deserve her promotion, because we actually do the same amount of work, and I worked hard to help her through our senior project at school?”

Okay, I made that last one up. But you get the point.

When two colleagues are locked in a silent (or not so silent) war, working in the office can feel like FIBUA – Fighting In Built-Up Areas, for those who haven’t undergone military service.

But don’t worry: there are ways to navigate these tricky battlefields without getting caught in the crossfire. Here are five tips for surviving the Great War without taking sides – or losing your sanity.