Ask Eric: How to Help a Friend Caught in a Celebrity Message Scam

Dear Eric: My boyfriend is preoccupied with messaging celebrities on Telegram. So far she has been in contact with four musicians. Two of the four have promised to visit with her.

After a celebrity’s first visit failed, I repeatedly asked her to block this contact. She hesitates between blocking and then unblocking because she just wants to read his message.

It seems as if this has taken on a life of its own, with the constant reporting and planning of the visits. I’m not sure if she gave the celebrities money, but I suspect she did. What steps should her friends and family take to bring her back to reality?

– Star struck

Dear Starstruck: As you’ve probably guessed, it’s highly unlikely that these people on Telegram, an encrypted messaging and social media app, are the actual celebrities they claim to be.

Although Telegram reportedly has more than 950 million active users and some of them are probably well-known, the way these interactions play out has more in common with romance scams than fame. According to the Federal Trade Commission, there were more than 64,000 reported romance scams in 2023, generating $1.14 billion dollars. And the FBI has a special web page dedicated to them. Visit FBI.gov or the Internet Crime Complaint Center (ic3.gov) and see if any of the common tactics resonate with what you see.

If you notice a pattern, also walk through the pages with your friend. Let her know that she is not alone and that she does not have to be ashamed. But emphasize your concern for her safety and financial well-being.

Even if the warning signs aren’t that noticeable, it’s important to express your concerns about her habit.

If she still insists that the celebrities are real, she must come up with a proper verification system. For example, before making any plans, the celebrity should video chat or at least send a video message responding to specific questions. But because she has become so involved in this practice, I worry that she is unable to prioritize her safety without clear boundaries. For example, the only way she should give these musicians money is by buying concert tickets or albums.

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Send questions to R. Eric Thomas [email protected] or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him further Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.