‘I need to heal from this,’ says woman who accuses Manitoba priest of sexually assaulting her in 1970s

Warning: This story involves allegations of sexual assault and discussion of suicide.

Shelley Trubiak says she suffered in silence for 52 years — but decided two years ago she couldn’t do that anymore after she had flashbacks of the abuse she says she suffered at the hands of a priest growing up in her little one. community in western Manitoba.

Trubiak, who is now 66, joined the RCMP in 2022, sparking a two-year investigation that led to the issuance of an arrest warrant for Constantin Turcoane, who was 81 at the time, in August.

The retired priest was charged with rape and sexual intercourse with a person under the age of 14 after Trubiak alleged he sexually abused her in the early 1970s, when she was 12 years old and a parishioner at his church in Lennard, Man.

“I’ve been scared and afraid – my whole life I’ve been through this,” Trubiak, who now lives in Saskatchewan, told CBC News this week. “I need to heal from this, (and) this is the only way I can do that.

“I just want to tell my story.”

None of the allegations against Turcoane have been tested in court. No trial date has been set for his arraignment.

Turcoane’s lawyer told CBC News his client denies the allegations and will plead not guilty if the case goes to trial. He does not want to comment further because the matter is before the courts.

The retired priest, who lived in Regina at the time, turned himself in to police after being charged in August and has since been released.

Turcoane served as a priest in the early 1970s at St. Elijah Romanian Orthodox Church in Lennard, a small community near the Saskatchewan border and about 300 kilometers northwest of Winnipeg.

The Canadian Orthodox History Project website says Turcoane worked for the parish in 1970-71.

Trubiak said she remembers Turcoane moving to Lennard in the winter of 1969, but does not remember speaking to him outside of Mass until the summer of 1970.

She said she and her friends were playing hide and seek in the cemetery behind the church when the priest came up and started talking to her. She claims he grabbed her breast.

“I didn’t even have breasts then, and he held me so tight. He was always smothering me,” Trubiak said. “I will never forget this.”

Trubiak claims Turcoane regularly engaged in unwanted touching and other sexual acts at church and at his home, where she sometimes babysat his daughter.

“He always said, ‘Oh, Dad loves you, so this is good, this is okay. Father loves you,’” she said.

‘He took my life, my youth’

Trubiak says the priest told her to keep quiet and keep the alleged sexual abuse between the two of them.

A year later, she said she overheard her mother talking to another church member about complaints about Turcoane’s involvement in other alleged abuse. Then she decided to tell her mother.

The priest was eventually removed from the church.

Despite this, Trubiak said she felt like no one in the community believed her, and her family was isolated.

With little support, she said she began to think she deserved what had happened to her. She later tried to kill herself, she said.

“Most kids have great memories, good memories. I have horrible memories of my childhood,” Trubiak said. “He took away my life and my youth.”

Her life went into a tailspin and she began using drugs, alcohol and sex to numb her pain, she said.

She ran away from home several times, sometimes for months, as she struggled to cope during her teenage years, including after having a child at 16.

Trubiak says the memories of her abuse never left her mind, but through counseling she learned how to deal with them.

In 2016, she moved to Saskatchewan to care for her dying mother and began struggling with flashbacks.

“It bothered me so much,” she said. ‘It’s like I’m being poisoned. I need to get this out of me.”

A choice for survivors: expert

Experts say it’s common for abuse survivors to share their stories years – or even decades – after the fact.

“If someone has experienced a violation, such as sexual violence, where that individual’s choice and consent was taken away, they reclaim it when they can make the choice to come forward for their own path,” said Kara Neustaedter, who oversees keeps on a program. at Winnipeg’s Clinic Community Health, which helps survivors of sexual abuse.

Neustaedter said coming forward is ultimately a choice, not a responsibility, and that people have different reasons for sharing their experiences.

RCMP told CBC News they have not heard from other people claiming they were abused by Turcoane since charges were filed in August, but since then more witnesses in Trubiak’s case have given statements to police and assisted in the investigation.

In the meantime, Trubiak hopes that publicly sharing her story will help other sexual assault survivors come forward.

“You don’t have to take this ugly stuff to your grave,” she said. “Please come forward, not just for me, but for the other women.”

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For anyone who has been sexually assaulted, support is available through crisis lines and local emergency services Canadian government website or the Ending Violence Association of Canada database. If you are in immediate danger or fear for your safety or the safety of others around you, call 911.