Celebrate Thanksgiving by letting your kids play outside

Are the kids at your Thanksgiving party too loud? Or, more likely, too quiet, bathed in the glow of an iPhone? Here’s a solution: open the door.

Especially if there are cousins ​​around, give one of the children a watch (explain that it is a kind of portable sundial). Tell them they can come back in when the big hand reaches a certain number. Then close the door behind them: adults stay inside, children play outside.

I propose this so that you can have a very nice holiday, while the younger family members have a very educational holiday, according to Yale University.

Over the past two generations, it has become increasingly difficult for parents to spend time without their children. They worry that every moment their prodigies are not watched, helped, and full of knowledge, they are in danger of getting hurt or (God forbid) fall behind.

Now Yale is taking one of those concerns off the Thanksgiving plate. A study recently published in The Journal of Child Developmentreleased just in time for the holidays – found that when adults are told that children actually “learn” by doing things themselves, they intervene less. Presumably this means that the adults stop tying shoes, zipping backpacks, and playing endless games that the kids should be playing with other kids (especially if the game involves a parachute or a ladder).

“When an adult steps in and completes a task for a young child, it can deprive the child of the opportunity to learn how to complete the task on their own, potentially harming their ability to develop self-efficacy, autonomy, and other important life needs . skills,” said lead author Reut Shachnai, a psychology student at Yale. “Our findings suggest that framing everyday tasks as ‘learning opportunities’ can significantly reduce excessive parenting, and in turn increase children’s independence, perseverance, and resilience.”

That’s what I’ve been saying for fifteen years – and Maria Montessori said about a century ago: Doing things for our children that they are ready for (or almost ready) deprives them of the opportunity to master a skill. And what makes any of us feel great? Master a skill! Whether it’s browning a turkey to perfection or simply adding half a stick of margarine to the Stove Top filling and serving it unseared.

The Yale study was pretty smart. Researchers began by interviewing 77 parents of children in kindergarten. They found that parents are less likely to intervene if they think their children will learn doing something (for example, doing a puzzle) than when the children simply do an everyday activity.

Next, at a children’s museum in Philadelphia, the researchers recruited thirty children to tackle a new and mildly challenging task: putting on hockey equipment.

The researchers told half of the parents that putting on the gear was an opportunity to learn a life skill – it was educational. They told the other half that it was a way to get in touch with the museum.

The parents who were told this was a teaching moment intervened about half as often as the control group.

Yale assistant professor of psychology Julia Leonard, a co-author of the study, said that given how intensive parenting has become, “we can recommend this to parents, teachers and mentors: the next time you’re tempted to to complete a task for a while, child, take a moment to appreciate what he can learn by completing the task himself.”

This means that sitting on the couch with the family and perhaps having a glass of wine while the kids do the dishes – or organize their own game of tag – is not lazy. You facilitate their training!