After day 1: small actions lead to big recovery

You know that defeated feeling of ‘back to square one’ after just one drink?

Now that I’ve experienced my share of day one, I know how sobriety can feel like a steep mountain to climb, where one misstep seems to have the power to erase all the hard work. At least that’s the mainstream recovery narrative that makes us believe: any deviation from your end goal is a sign of failure:

• You wanted to stop drinking, but did you have a drink last week? You have failed.
• Been sober for three months, but collapsed over the weekend? You’re back to square one.

But did you know that all great things are made of small things, and that every monumental achievement is made of smaller, often unnoticed steps?

Big things grow from small things

Think about some of the greatest achievements you’ve made in your life, whether it’s getting a degree, landing your dream job, or mastering a new language. Can you see the incremental steps that led to these successes?

• Each college course consists of attending one lecture, completing one assignment, and earning one credit at a time.
• To secure your dream job, you need every piece of experience you listed on your resume, every word you typed in your cover letter, and every interview question you answered.

As someone who learned English as a second language, I can personally vouch for the fact that fluency comes from learning one new word, one grammar rule, and one sentence at a time. There is no shortcut to becoming fluent in the language overnight. It’s about adding up the little lessons every day until you suddenly realize you’ve mastered it.

The same goes when it comes to sobriety.

Charting the small victories in sobriety

I understand that you are serious about sobriety. Maybe you’ve lost control one too many times in the past, maybe a completely alcohol-free life is what you want, or even need, or you’ve just decided that you’re tired of feeling sick and tired, and that alcohol is no longer necessary. place in your life.

Yet that alcohol-free life consists of many small steps in which you learn how to:

• Say no to a drink in a social setting.
• Enjoy a mocktail with a cocktail.
• Relax in the evening without looking at the wine glass.
• Manage your tension without resorting to old ‘liquid courage’.

There is no such thing as one big, long period of sobriety; what it really is is a series of alcohol-free days strung together, and each alcohol-free day is made up of many small alcohol-free decisions. The continuation is much less important than the accumulation of the number of times you chose sobriety over influence.

Every time you say “No, thank you” to a drink, you choose something new over the old pattern, building and strengthening a new pathway in your brain. Just as I can’t learn to speak a new language fluently without making a fool of myself a few times (like pronouncing “sheet” as “sh*t” during a class presentation), learning to live on a low alcohol diet means you will have learned how not to drink – often by falling back on drinking several times.

Success is not measured by the number of times we make a mistake, but by the extent to which we choose to move forward despite the setbacks. In fact, it is these missteps that allow us to move forward, because they are the only way we learn and get better. Borrowing wisdom from Baptist Pastor Jack Hyles: “Success lies on the same path as failure; success is just a little further down the road.”

Enjoying success: Recognizing small victories on your journey

This month I invite you to learn to celebrate small victories, because they are what make big victories.

Here are some small victories to celebrate:

• Stopping at the second drink without reaching the third glass: that’s progress!
• Choose a mocktail over a cocktail during a dinner: you learn to enjoy an alcohol-free alternative!
• Skipped the drinking last night and opted to take a walk outdoors: you practice choosing sobriety over being under the influence!

What small victory can you celebrate today?

Are you stuck and don’t know what to celebrate? View my “Everyday Wins: Sobriety Small Win Checklist” for more everyday victories that deserve to be recognized and celebrated.