Pascal ruins Joan's Fantasy Suites

We’ll just dive into this because this isn’t something you don’t know. But maybe it’s best to stay put.

You’ve seen the teasers for ABC’s “Golden Bachelorette” episode 7, the always emotionally explosive installment of the Bachelor franchise known as Fantasy Suites, where the remaining contestants are treated to “overnight” dates.

In the teaser, Joan, 61, signals tragedy in full Edgar Allen Poe attire — that black Lamarque feather jacket and matching Loewe long dress. She is clearly in distress with French-born Chicago salon owner Pascal, 69, showing alarming signs of emotional withdrawal in last week’s Hometown Dates episode.

Suddenly it seems like the TMZ paparazzi who usually swarm LAX arrivals are invading beautiful Tahiti. The shaky camera focuses on Joan in emotional pain, clearly from Pascal. It’s true: this fantasy episode turns into a dark, tear-filled nightmare. Brace yourself for what just happened:

Spoiler alert: stop reading if you’re scared or don’t want to know how Joan’s Episode 7 journey plays out (now streaming on Hulu).

The Frenchman Pascal surrenders to his fears and leaves Joan

Pascal has furiously backed away from the Joan stakes as the show has progressed. Remember, this was the man who smoothly grabbed Joan for some private time on the first night in front of 23 other shocked competitors. So keep that power move in mind when he claims in this episode, “I’m not a fighter; I’m a lover.”

Things are going great in the Tahiti paradise as the relaxed beach vibe is on Joan’s third overnight stay with Pascal (after emergency doctor Guy, 66, and insurance executive Chock, 60). But somehow, by some crazy old coincidence, Pascal and Joan walk straight into their own Tahitian sunset commitment ceremony. Pascal’s eyes widen then Admiral Ackbar has been there before the military commander of “Star Wars” famously barked, “It’s a trap!”

But Pascal endures the beach ceremony and remains calm until their romantic dinner on the docked cruise ship that serves as Fantasy headquarters. Seconds after bravely guiding Joan’s chair to the candlelit table, Pascal goes straight into his shocking breakup.

The couple’s dazzling gourmet meal goes cold and is completely ignored on the table as the room temperature soars. (Quick aside: bypassing that meal is Pascal’s most egregious mistake, especially for a Parisian native bon alive. By all means, let Joan enjoy it before the coming boom. We have all night!)

Pascal’s rambunctious reasoning focuses on his newly broken heart and his rough childhood. “I am what you call damaged goods,” he says.

But key points include groundbreaking lines like, “I’m not in love,” “I’m just not there,” and “I need that spark, but we just don’t have it.”

Joan stumbles out of the room, past the untouched food. Pascal barks angrily at the ubiquitous cameramen. But the camera’s retreat is worth it for the award-winning shot, via an open staircase and a thick glass rail, of Joan staggering next to a Prada bag display.

And that’s all she wrote for the amazing episode 7. Joan tearfully delivers an immortal Bachelor Nation line to the camera as the tragic orchestral music reaches a new level. “I had 24 people here in the beginning, I’m down to the last three and I might not leave with anyone,” she says. “It could happen.”

Pascal was last seen boarding the cruise line’s shuttle bus. They won’t even let him stay on the boat. The French authorities will certainly want to talk to him about the whole meal thing.

How did the other dates go, besides the heartbreak that ended the show?

Boy, with all his real baggage revealed after the show was filmed is still on the hunt. They are a beautiful couple snorkeling in the beautiful ocean water. Guy fully agrees with Joan’s decision not to each beds in the Fantasy Suites, to keep the focus on the emotions and not on the physical. It is a principled power move that breaks with Bachelor tradition. You go, Joan!

Chock drives his speeding all-terrain vehicle with one hand so he can hold Joan’s hand with the other. He has two souped-up ATVs at home in Wichita, Kansas. But he notes that Kansas isn’t as beautiful as Tahiti, which is a completely unnecessary comment. Tahiti would make Neytiri from ‘Avatar’ Instagram jealous.

Chock, the only living person who can make popping a champagne cork boring, is still in the mix. His second round of kissing in the Fantasy Suite approaches carnivore levels.

But what will happen on ‘Golden Bachelorette’?

That’s the big, wild unknown! Isn’t that insane? The show ends with Pascal’s departure. But does that mean Jordan, who was fired after Hometown Dates, will get Joe Flacco’s replacement call-up to replace Pascal? Or is it just Guy and Chock? In next week’s “The Men Tell All” special, we’ll see how Joan’s love fate will culminate in the dramatic Nov. 13 finale.