What is 'sleep separation'? Why couples sleep separately on holiday.

For most couples, a romantic getaway includes fancy dinner reservations and sunset walks along the beach. For a growing number of lovers, however, it also means ending the night in separate beds.

According to Hilton’s recently released Trend report 202537% of people choose to sleep in separate beds from their partners while on holiday, a rising trend known as ‘sleep separation’. Although it may seem taboo, more than two-thirds of respondents say they sleep better when they are alone.

“This shift underscores a growing awareness of the importance of a good night’s sleep on the road, as travelers seek environments that maximize rest,” Amanda Al-Masri, Global Vice President of Wellness at Hilton, told USA TODAY. “Prioritizing self-care and wellness while traveling has been a rising trend for some time – last year, Hilton’s Trends Report 2024 found that the desire to rest and recharge is the number one reason people want to travel.”

While the word “divorce” or the idea that your partner is the one getting in the way of a good night’s sleep can imply a sign of relationship trouble, sleeping apart can do the opposite and promote a more meaningful connection between partners, according to Fatemeh Farahan, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles who has seen more of her clients consider sleeping apart.

Because everyone has specific sleep preferences, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to bed sharing for every relationship. “Couples have more satisfaction in their relationships when they meet their needs first and don’t rely on a myth and push the idea of the old adage that you have to sleep together to actually be intimate — that’s not true,” Farahan said.

This is why you may want to consider sleeping in separate beds on your next vacation.

Sleep your way to a better relationship

Imagine, Farahan suggested: you are traveling to Paris with your partner, so of course you want to do everything: museums, the Eiffel Tower, endless croissants. At the end of the day, you’re both exhausted. However, one is a night owl who stays up looking at his phone, while the other is a light sleeper who gets irritated by the blue light in his face. It is not exactly the basis for a romantic holiday in the City of Light.

Sleeping separately can be a sensible solution. “You don’t have to deal with that real closeness to give you the space to relax the way you need to,” she said. (This also applies to sleeping at home.)

This is especially true for those dealing with snoring, conflicting sleep schedules, sleep disturbances and different sleep temperature preferences – the top reasons couples sleep in separate beds, according to a study. research from Naturepedic of 400 people in healthy relationships who don’t share a bed.

Research supports the idea that if sleeping apart improves rest, it can also positively impact the quality of a relationship. A Study from 2017 from Ohio State University found that couples with sleep problems have difficulty regulating their emotions, which leads to more conflict and can be more hostile toward each other. When our brains are sleep-deprived, we often feel more stressed, depressed and anxious, which can negatively impact our relationships, according to a study. Study from 2013.

When we are well rested, our mood improves and we are better able to stand up for our partner. “They’re actually making more time to make sure they have their moments, rather than it being forced,” Farahan said.

Farahan suggests that couples who are curious about sleeping apart can start by establishing small rituals to promote “a few minutes of closeness” — like a good night’s kiss or having coffee together in the morning — before going their separate ways.

“The message for me is that separate beds can be a really powerful choice for couples who see it as a way to prioritize both rest and connection,” Farahan said.

“It’s really about recognizing that sometimes the healthiest relationship choices are the ones that recognize the unique needs of both partners.”