Why is Hoda Kotb leaving 'Today?' 'The pain is there, but I'm ready'

AUSTIN – Hoda Kotb leaves ‘Today’ sprinting with open arms towards a fresh future.

When I spoke with the host of “Today” and “Hoda & Jenna” in March her children’s book ‘Hope is a rainbow’ Kotb said she dreamed of moving into the wellness space. Eight months later, and one month after announcing her departure to “Today,” Kotb shared a glimpse of the pivot as she and “Today” hosted 150 attendees for a wellness retreat at Miraval Austin Resort and Spa last weekend.

When Kotb announced her departure on “Today” on September 26, Savannah Guthrie congratulated her co-host because you have the courage to start a new adventure. But on a terrace near Miraval, Kotb says she didn’t have to work up courage.

“Strangely, this was my only choice at the time,” she says. “I have everything I want. I don’t risk anything. I have the love of my family. I have wonderful colleagues who will be my friends forever. I have it. So I didn’t feel like, ‘What am I losing?’ ?'”

An inner voice beckoned: “The whispers were very soft, but as they went on they became much louder, to the point where you could hardly listen,” Kotb says. “In different forms it said, ‘You are an adventurer.’ It read: “You need time with your kids (Haley Joy, 7, and Hope Catherine, 5).” It said, ‘What is this next chapter?’ It was said: ‘Have you done everything?’ ”

“Today” named Kotb as Matt Lauer’s replacement in 2018 after that NBC fired the disgraced journalist for alleged sexual misconduct. (Kotb, a 26-year NBC News veteran, also worked on the network’s investigative series “Dateline.”) Kotb and Guthrie formed the first female lead duo for “Today” since its debut in 1952. The morning show festivities on the occasion of Kotb’s 60th birthday in August strengthened her decision to leave.

“I cried for almost the entire party, mainly because I knew it,” she says of an admission that brought a sense of ease. “It’s like when you tell yourself the truth about something, your whole body relaxes and says, ‘Okay.’ That’s how I felt ever since. The love is strong and that’s why the pain is there, but I’m ready for it.”

She will step down from her day-to-day desk duties early next year, but will continue as an NBC contributor and beyond Create a space podcast.

“Daily therapy sessions” with Guthrie and late morning co-host Jenna Bush Hager are what Kotb will miss most. Their friendship will continue, says Kotb, “but I’m going to miss those kinds of intimate moments that you can only have when you’re vulnerable, when you have blue eyes, when you haven’t slept and when you We’re sitting next to each other, and suddenly you collapse you just express your soul.’

During this transition period, Kotb holds on to a vision of herself on the other side, a tip she has learned by Sarah Jakes Robertsan author and preacher. “She says you can’t just jump into an abyss,” Kotb explains. “I take my children to school, And I’m trying something new And I feel fulfilled, And I’m in touch with everyone I love. It was all these ‘and’. So I could see it. So I think once I could see it clearly, I was like, ‘Okay, now I get it.’

Kotb’s plans also include launching a new company that will focus on “giving women permission to take care of their well-being” with an app and more retreats. The concept of wellness clicked for Kotb in her 50s, when she felt run down.

“I’m like, ‘I know I’ll eat salmon and go for another run and then I’ll feel better,’” she says. “And I did, for one day. And then I realized there had to be something more that fuels you, besides vegetables and sweating on a Peloton bike. You must have more.”

Throughout the weekend, attendees could practice meditation, yoga and breathwork (Kotb and Bush Hager is a fan). Attendees heard inspiring conversations from Maria Shriver and Jamie Kern Lima, the co-founder of IT Cosmetics, who overcame several naysayers and ultimately sold her thriving company for $1.2 billion.

Kotb wants her next chapter “to be about returning the favor,” she says. ‘I got much more than I deserve, much more. So now it’s like this is the season of giving, of helping, of mentoring, of showing up and hopefully it can make someone else’s life easier.

“Her example of leaving at the top inspires people to say, ‘What do I really want?’” says Kern Lima, “and to embrace that they are worthy of trusting themselves, betting on themselves and to live the life that requires it. they believe this is in line with their mission.”

Kotb reflected on the many meaningful connections she made after the retreat on Monday. “I didn’t know my heart could hold so much or have so much capacity. It just got deeper.”

Ze Kotb was even more sure that leaving “Today” is the right choice.

“I think it confirmed something that I knew to be true,” she says. “I felt like it was home. I thought, ‘This is what home feels like. This is when something is right. ”