8 silent ways people can get revenge without getting caught

A research into the social psychology of revenge from the research journal Social and Psychology Personality Compass defines revenge as a way to exchange messages and meanings – it is a complex, chaotic and often unhealthy means of communication. While some experts suggest that there are some potential benefits of using revenge in toxic relationships or situations, the deterrents to vengeful behavior far outweigh any beneficial use of them.

In some situations, vengeful people make their envy and sabotage known, but in others there are quiet ways people can get revenge without getting caught. By recognizing these tendencies and behaviors, you can ensure that you build a healthy inner circle, filled with relationships that enrich rather than devalue your life.

Here are 8 silent ways people can get revenge without getting caught

1. They cause rumors or gossip

Woman reading upset gossip on her phone Monster Zstudio | Shutterstock

While research has found While gossip can be healthy in very specific scenarios, the majority of rumors fueled by resentful and vengeful people are intended to be harmful. Whether it’s eroding trust in a relationship, damaging someone’s reputation, or desperately trying to cause stress and anxiety in someone’s life, gossip in the wrong hands can be one of the silent ways people get revenge without getting caught.

Of course, gossiping behind people’s backs and spreading hurtful rumors may keep a vengeful person from getting caught, but it hardly protects him from the karmic negative energy that will surely return to them eventually.

2. They feign friendliness

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According to psychologist Mark Travers Ph.D.People who feign a positive attitude or pretend to give good advice not only harm other people who are struggling, but also affect their own self-confidence and identity in the process.

So while they may quietly take revenge on another person by trying to assert superiority over them with fake success and happiness, they will only end up feeling confused, disconnected, and isolated. Of course, be wary of the people in your life who always do better than you, especially if they like to point it outbecause they probably want to make you feel worse.

3. They cross boundaries

Couple looking angry while sitting on the sofa Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock

Although experts like Yolanda Renteriaa licensed professional counselor, argues that constantly setting boundaries in a relationship can itself be a form of self-deception and avoidance, and that many vindictive people will sabotage relationships with their own selfish behavior.

Revenge-seekers secretly know that their tendency to cross specific boundaries in relationships causes stress and emotional damage to other people, yet they use this to their advantage. They manipulate other people by thinking that they are suffering at the hands of their own incompetence in protecting their space.

4. They strategically express ignorance

Man looking angry during an argument with his partner Dean Drobot | Shutterstock

Willful ignorance in relationships is both a form of self-sabotage and silent revenge, because it is an active decision to avoid learning about someone else’s emotions, situations, or struggles, to avoid liability when he or she is called out because he has not supported or intervened.

While it may be obvious to some people that their partners or friends are deliberately expressing ignorance, research from the journal Philosophical Studies states that many of them use ignorance as a means of self-deception. They unconsciously avoid responsibility for their actions and in turn sacrifice the well-being of healthy relationships with others.

5. They stop communicating altogether

Woman sitting angrily on her couch Bagus Production | Shutterstock

While using “no contact” strategies with toxic relationships in your life can be incredibly healthy and effective in many cases. There are some quiet ways people can get revenge without getting caught, which revolve around taking advantage of poor communication.

Whether it’s replying to text messages late, deliberately forgetting to call back, or completely ghosting people, vengeful people can use others’ desire to contact them as a way to manipulate.

If you recognize that communication – or, more importantly, the lack of communication – if someone in your life upsets your balance, take it as a sign to reconsider the value of his/her relationship in your life.

6. They make passive-aggressive comments

Woman looking frustrated while texting on her phone GaudiLab | Shutterstock

This is evident from a study in the Journal of Leadership & Organizational StudiesPassive-aggressive behavior is not only common in personal relationships, it is also incredibly prevalent in workplace dynamics and leadership strategies.

Coworkers may deliberately take silent revenge on their bosses by making passive-aggressive comments, as well as by undermining their leadership authority with little concern and a lack of dedication to their work.

In more personal relationships, such as those with a partner or a friend, passive-aggressive comments can create a quiet sense of distrust in a connection, creating a sense of unsteadiness or resentment that isn’t always easy to pinpoint at the time.

7. They move on with their lives

Man and woman look happy taking a photo Gigi Delgado | Shutterstock

Not everyone who “gets revenge” does so intentionally, as this exchange of messages and communication is almost always a two-way street. One party may feel the shame, guilt, and insecurity that often accompanies vengeful behavior a study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology argues, even if the single person is only passively aware of it.

Think about the end of a toxic relationship: one person lives in it, while another metaphorically improves himself. The person who “moves on” may find a new partner, start a new job, or even build a new social media presence. They work quietly and often privately to achieve their goals, while someone else watches resentfully.

8. They revisit an old conflict in an awkwardly belated way

Woman looking frustrated during a phone call ViDI Studio | Shutterstock

Forgiveness and open discussion are generally good-natured ways to resolve conflict, whether you have a romantic relationship, a friendship, or an acquaintance at work. But allowing things to fester over time, only to revisit them at a later date, with the strategic goal of bringing out intense emotions in someone who may have moved on or forgotten them, is not only manipulative but also confusing. .

These types of conversations are easily overshadowed by claims of healing and can be difficult to refute, especially if you are the person blindsided by them. This kind of dark manipulation is more common than you think. Next time think a quietly vengeful colleague points out a mistake of your project months earlier and you will be reminded.

Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango, focusing on health and wellness, social policy and human interest stories.