Dear Ab | Missed ex who would like to revive a relationship

DEAR ABBY: I was in a five-year relationship with a man. We broke up because he was unfaithful. Even though I am willing to forgive and still have feelings for him, my children do not love this man and do not want me to reconnect with him. My kids say if I do that, they won’t want to have a relationship with me anymore.

Their ultimatum doesn’t seem fair. I’m afraid I won’t fall in love again, and I don’t want to be alone later in life. Should I respect my children’s wishes and give up a relationship with him, or should I seek outside guidance and advice to see if we can try to be a family as we originally planned? I really feel like he is the love of my life. Nobody is perfect. I’m willing to give it another chance, but I want my children to accept him. I don’t know how or if they ever will. What should I do?

– LEADING TO IT IN TEXAS

BEST HANDRAIL: Fear is absolutely the WORST reason for a couple to reunite. Your relationship failed because he is a cheater. Why do you think it would be different this time? There are worse things than being older and alone. There is no guarantee that you won’t meet someone and fall in love.

Your children hate this man for a reason. You ask whether you should seek outside guidance and advice. As the first person you ask, I’m totally in favor of it. Your doctor can refer you to someone qualified.

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DEAR ABBY: I have fond memories of Christmas from my childhood. I didn’t start to hate it until I married my second husband. My parents were getting old and we celebrated their last Christmas together. They passed several years ago. After that, I really hated the season and all the nonsense that came with it. I’ve tried to like it over the years and have done all the holiday things. I sent cards, baked cookies, decorated, bought gifts – even went to church.

Last Christmas Eve I just ‘snapped’. I couldn’t handle it anymore. I removed most of the decorations because I could no longer look at them. I’m not doing well, and my boyfriend is sick every now and then. He loves Christmas, so I’ll get some stuff ready for him, not for myself. Why do I hate Christmas so much? It’s such a pain in the ass. Maybe you can help me understand my feelings.

– SCROOGE IN INDIANA

DEAR SCROOGE: Your change in attitude could be caused by two things. The first would be that in your mind Christmas is associated with the loss of your parents and with a chapter in your life that has now closed. The other could be caused by the incessant hype and merchandising surrounding Christmas that starts right after Halloween. It might be time to go back and ask your friend to help by celebrating the MEANING of Christmas, rather than the trappings. I think about helping someone – or a family – who is less fortunate.