Tauranga man sent to prison for sexually assaulting woman after work event, name withheld

Warning: This story contains details of sexual abuse and may be disturbing.

“Living in a world where you are afraid to close your eyes and sleep peacefully at night is not a nice world to live in.”

A woman told the 45-year-old man who sexually assaulted her while she was sleeping at a colleague’s house after a work-related event.

Although Judge Bill Lawson refused the permanent name suppression when the man was sentenced in the Tauranga District Court on Friday, he still cannot be named after indicating he plans to appeal.

A jury found him guilty earlier this year after hearing how the woman went to bed at a colleague’s house heavily drunk, only to wake up to find him sexually assaulting her.

She described his attack as “one of the most extreme violations a human being can suffer.”

The physical and emotional aftermath had been severe: she had been unable to sit comfortably for days after the attack and was in pain as she drove to the police station and underwent medical examinations.

She was bruised and still had scars from the “fingernails that tore into (her).”

“These are a constant reminder of what happened to me, and it haunts me every time I look in the mirror.”

It also affected her husband and young children.

“This has robbed our children of precious time with their mother,” she said.

“I used to be very involved in their education and activities, but now I can rarely pick them up or drop them off at school.”

They had lost the “carefree, happy mother they once knew” as she sometimes struggled to get out of bed and was constantly afraid for their safety.

“They wake me up at night, scared and in need of reassurance, only to find a mother who is terrified of waking herself.”

It had affected her relationship with her husband, as “the joy of (their) connection was overshadowed by these painful memories of rape”.

‘I know this has affected him greatly. It is not easy to live knowing that another man has abused your wife in such a horrible way.”

The woman said the process was re-traumatizing, but she wanted to make sure the man would never do something like that again.

She asked Judge Lawson “for justice.”

“Not just for me, but for my family, whose lives have been irrevocably changed,” she said.

“I also ask that you make sure (the man) gets the help he needs so he never does this again.”

Speaking to NZME after the sentencing, the woman said she hoped other women would feel encouraged to speak up if they had been sexually assaulted.

“Hopefully it gives other people hope and helps someone else stand up for themselves,” she said.

Although she felt it would have been easier to avoid the trial, it would have been the right thing to do to ensure there were no more victims.

Her advice to those who were victims of sexual violence was to “stay strong.”

“Get support, get advice, contact Tautoko Mai (Sexual Harm Support)… be kind to yourself and just do the right thing, both for yourself and for other people.”

She felt relieved that the trial was over and that she could now “get her life back on track.”

“Get the fuck off me.”

The man was found guilty by a jury on charges of sexual abuse by unlawful sexual connection.

During the trial, the court heard a work event had taken place during the Tauranga Races.

A mix of colleagues, friends and neighbors headed to a house after the races to enjoy drinks and food around an outdoor fire on a typical summer evening.

The victim, who was connected to the workplace and was friends with the homeowner, said she had a good time and caught up with old friends and people she had just met.

Her husband had left the meeting early, but she had stayed.

The gathering continued, with more drinks and festivities, and a few people stayed in the house past midnight.

The woman said she had been very drunk and had difficulty remembering large parts of the evening.

She went to bed in one of the guest rooms, but woke up in the early hours when the man “forcibly” raped her.

In her evidence video to police, she said that when she realized what was happening, she kept thinking, “Say something, say something,” before using her most “stern” voice to say, “Get the fuck off me.”

She could hear him panting and breathing heavily as he abused her, but he had stopped and ‘walked away’ after she told him to leave.

When she woke up the next morning, she went to the bathroom feeling sore and thought, “What the hell did this really happen?”

Defense attorney Craig Tuck said the incident was “absolute fantasy” and that the woman had made it up.

The defense was not that it happened and that she had consented to it, but that it simply did not happen at all.

Tuck said her evidence could not be relied upon because of the “almost unbelievable” amounts of alcohol she had consumed which had affected her memory. He also pointed out a lack of DNA that was present after a physical examination.

The jury returned a unanimous guilty verdict after approximately eight hours of deliberation.

‘She had a right to feel safe’

In ruling, the judge referred to a letter of remorse from the man.

“It makes it clear that you accept that you have offended the victim in this way and that you have caused her physical and emotional trauma.”

The judge said those close to him described him as a “gentle person who is generous and willing to help others.”

But he had also had problems in his upbringing, including ADHD, problems with school, a head injury as a teenager and substance abuse. The judge accepted a report from a psychotherapist which found that some of these factors could have had a causal link with his offending.

Judge Lawson said the woman was in an environment where she should feel safe.

“You were both escorted to separate rooms and she had the right to expect to remain in that room, free from any interference or contact from you,” he said.

‘You took advantage of her vulnerability. You seriously penetrated her… while she was sleeping, or blacked out. You held her in place to make that happen.”

The judge used a starting point of seven years and four months in prison. He gave the man a 5 percent discount for remorse.

“Your expression of remorse shows that you have thought about this… You have accepted that your behavior was the cause of a significant impact on the victim,” Judge Lawson said.

“In cases like this, we very often see that the victims are left in a state of doubt because the defendants maintain their innocence and do not accept the verdict. Here you have accepted what you have done.”

The man also offered restitution for emotional damages of $2,500. The judge said that while the financial loss suffered by the woman and her family could not be compensated, it was an expression of the remorse expressed.

The man also received a 10 percent discount due to background factors.

He received a final sentence of six years and three months in prison and was ordered to pay $2,500 for emotional damages.

*This story originally appeared in the New Zealand herald.

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