The silent suffering of grandparents after a loss

The loss of a child is an unimaginable tragedy that leaves parents with a lifelong, painful void. But the immediate family circle also includes mourning grandparents WHO bear their grief in a unique way. They experience a double loss: as parents of the parent of the deceased child and as grandparents.

Grandparents, who are often expected to support the family, are often elderly, sometimes with chronic illnesses, and may have relied on their child for daily assistance. Unfortunately, suppressing their personal pain, in addition to dealing with the challenges of aging and grief, can lead to decline in health and even disability.

Do grandparents get “unmitigated joy” from being with their grandchildren all the time? (credit: PEPE FAINBERG)

Although recent legislation has recognized the grief of siblings of the deceased, grandparents continue to be overlooked. Despite their important contributions to the family and society, grieving grandparents often lack adequate support and recognition. The Israeli legal system focuses primarily on providing assistance to parents and siblings, leaving grandparents with limited resources to deal with their grief.

The emotional toll

The emotional toll on grieving grandparents can be devastating. The loss of a grandchild can lead to feelings of deep sadness, guilt and isolation. These intense emotions, combined with the challenges of aging, can have a significant impact on their physical and mental health. To address the unique challenges grieving grandparents face, it is essential to implement targeted support measures.

These could include establishing formal recognition of grieving grandparents (recognizing their distinctive status and experiences can provide much-needed validation and support), providing access to specialist bereavement support (tailored bereavement services can help them in dealing with complex emotions and finding healing), expanding social support networks (creating special support groups and communities to promote a sense of belonging and belonging); and, if necessary, provide financial assistance.

By implementing these recommendations, we can demonstrate our commitment to supporting grieving grandparents and honoring their important contributions to our society. It is imperative that we acknowledge their pain and provide them with the necessary resources to heal and find meaning in their lives.

The writer is a PhD gerontologist, researcher, and entrepreneur focused on innovation, wellness, and health for older adults.