Summary of ‘The Golden Bachelorette’: The men tell all

Photo: Christopher Willard/Disney

Sure, let’s look at this. Do you know what we need now? Men tell us even more things. Truly brilliant timing. At least Bob was there as a lesbian safe haven. We appreciate you, Bob, even if Joan described you as “accepting” and said she would “always remember that conversation,” neither statement indicates actual support. I’m excited to be living as a gay woman at the end of 2024! (Eats pumpkin chocolate chip cookies while staring into the void)

All things considered, this episode was pretty innocuous, which is what I normally expect from “The Men Tell All.” Either you get weird and aggressive attitudes from the male participants, so at least that wasn’t it. There was a very ‘celebration of friendship’ tone that I appreciated.

So we all want the details of it The Golden Bachelorette chat time for men? Okay. Luckily for everyone, we start with Charles wandering around the empty set. He is very impressed. We love you, Charles.

Jesse Palmer and his big rectangular head are growing on me, which is good because he’s our guide for this whole program. This is when you make your money, Jesse. Otherwise, he’s mainly there to say, ‘Gentlemen. The last rose of the night.” Something he himself joked about last season! It’s the little things.

Present at the reunion (that’s what I mean now) are: CK, Bob, Gregg, Christopher, Kim, Michael, Dan, Jack, Jordan, Gary, Keith, Jonathan, Pascal, Mark and Charles. They insist on Charles ‘Charles L.’ to mention. even though we all now know the other Charles as ‘CK’. They could even call him “Charles Not in Charge,” but Charles L.? A real choice. Charles missed the men every minute, and we learn their children are in the audience.

A cursory Google search says the show was filmed from June to July, so several months have passed since the men were in front of the camera. Mark’s beard is fuller. Pascal is clean shaven. And Charles’s her is darker! His hair has gone from total silver to inkjet printer black. Jesse discusses this, and Charles says it’s definitely due to the food he ate. Amazing. Once again, we love you, Charles. All the other men look mostly the same, or it’s possible I didn’t observe them closely enough during their time on the show.

The men talk about their close friendships and how they call each other brothers. We see Gary again saying that these people are what makes him such a better man than he was, and I wish we had more of Gary in this episode! I Love Gary. “The women tell everything” by The golden bachelor might have been my all-time favorite episode of reality TV, and while I never expected the same from this week, I think Gary Time paired with Charles Time could have really helped. Gary and Charles are both so genuine and willing to actually be emotional.

Although we don’t get more Gary and Charles Time, we do Doing get more Charles and Jack Time, which I will absolutely accept as well. Damn, I love Jack. They show extra footage from the first night where Charles acts as host for the other guys, despite never having been there before (cute), and Jack talks about how “I used to make chandeliers,” and he’s really impressed from the lack of dust on the chandelier. You’re great, Jack. Never change.

Michael, who I never really paid attention to but who is very loved by my boyfriend, reveals that he was diagnosed with cancer just before joining the show, and turned what could have been an incredibly difficult year into a very special year. He’s also recovering now, so go, Michael! You seem like a nice man, she said with very little information.

We revisit what Jesse calls “BurgerGate,” which is his nod to the fact that there was very little drama between the men, except when Jack tried to tell Christopher how to grill a hamburger. Jack’s take on this is: ‘I would have liked to say nothing, but that’s not my thing. I have to say what I have to say.’ Indeed. Then we learn that Jack has grilled hamburgers for everyone in the audience. We have to watch everyone eat. It’s a director’s choice.

Jonathan is our first interviewee who has to sit on the small loveseat. Despite Jesse Palmer’s suspicions, Jonathan insists he has never done a striptease professional. He tells us that Mark leaves him post-its, and everyone cries. Mark reiterates that Jonathan is a fantastic person. Why can’t we all just be so nice? Why don’t we focus more on this kind of behavior, and instead we affirm someone who is unkind, cruel, and has never had a moment of empathy for anyone not directly connected to himself? Who could I be talking about? Who knows!!

Jesse interviews Mark, and based on Mark’s time in the mansion we don’t really learn anything, but he seems like a calm and nice man. Not everyone needs to be on TV; If so, they must have a compelling personality. Mark definitely didn’t need an interview, but he’s bachelor Joey’s soon-to-be father-in-law, so here we are.

Charles’ interview is clearly the best. CHARLES MANIA is sweeping the country, says Jesse. Indeed! We see a highlight reel of Joan telling Charles that he changed her life, a favorite moment because it’s someone on the scene emphasizing Charles’ importance. We learn that Charles was nervous about how his family would react to him being on the show, but he received support and love from them and his daughters, and he feels lighter than before. Someone in the audience stands up and suggests that Charles be the next Golden Bachelor. While I support this, he may be too nice to do it. You’ll have to make some tough decisions during the show! Besides, I’m still not sure he’s ready, said the woman watching brief glimpses of this man on her TV.

The Los Angeles Gay Men’s Chorus sings “Mansion Men” and Kim is thrilled. We see a clip of Pascal leading the men in meditation and then saying to the camera, “I have absolutely no idea about meditation.” When Jesse interviews Pascal about his farewell, they talk about vulnerability and the importance of showing your feelings, but NOT LONG ENOUGH. This entire episode should have been about the stigma of men being emotional and how we can all work to counter that. I would support that.

We end with Joan on the couch, talking to the men. We see a ‘Lesbians for Bob’ sign in the audience, and Joan tells Charles they will exchange numbers. Jonathan has meet someone, so good to him (he looks so hip too!), and Joan still seems a little miffed at Pascal, but in a passive-aggressive way rather than an overtly hostile way.

Next week! We are in Bora Bora and are forced to watch a shirtless Chock, and Joan describes it as emotional with many tears, but some are tears of happiness. So we’ll see what’s in a week!