My 55 year old daughter has terrible taste. Can I do anything?

DEAR ABBY: My elementary school teacher recently passed away. I hadn’t seen her in over twenty years because of the way she made me feel. I remember her as manipulative and with a negative attitude towards the less fortunate. Because I did not come from a wealthy or prominent family, I was subjected to humiliation, fear and intimidation. I remember her as money-driven, judgmental, and supportive of the privileged, who she thought were smarter.

Because I had dyslexia, I had trouble reading and interpreting words, so she made me stand and feel embarrassed for hours. Now that she is dead, I realize that I never had the chance to tell her how wrong she was, and that my negative attitude toward education in high school changed for the better because I had excellent teachers and great classmates.

The people praising her now are the same people she promoted and favored. I wish I could speak out because many were mistreated. — WITH SCARS IN TEXAS

DEAR SIGNED: I think you expressed your feelings very well. This teacher may not have recognized that she had a student with a learning disability and punished you when she should instead have realized that what you needed to succeed was extra help. Think about her inability to cope well her learning disability, and try to forgive her. Things have been going very well for you despite her, and it’s time to put her out of your mind.

DEAR ABBY: Is there any way I can help my 55 year old daughter who just started another undoubtedly doomed relationship? She quickly starts living with these men, usually after less than two months. Then my daughter reinvents herself to make a profession are ideal. Each time the relationships have ended, it has come at great cost to her and negatively affected her now adult children.

Despite all this, my daughter has continued to work, even though four years is a long time in one position. I worry that the latest move will limit her employment opportunities once the work-from-home trend subsides. Is this like dealing with a drug addict or an alcoholic who has to seek help on their own? This rollercoaster has also taken its toll on me. — MOM ON THE SIDELINES

DEAR MOM: You can talk until you’re blue in the face—and I’m guessing you’ve tried more than once—to get your middle-aged daughter to realize that what she’s done hasn’t worked for her. She is not an ‘addict’, but she is desperate for a partner.

When your daughter finally realizes that she doesn’t have to twist herself into a pretzel to please a man, and that she is fine just the way she is – a successful parent, self-sufficient and worthwhile on her own – she can’t feel alone feel better about themselves, but also have more luck finding a partner.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was created by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.