Here you can read how schools can support students with incarcerated parents

One in fourteen children and young teenagers in the United States have experienced the incarceration of a parent. I know firsthand the challenges posed by this painful situation.

When I was in high school, I spent many weekends in the car, making the eight-hour trip from Maryland to rural New York State to visit my mother in prison. These visits always felt bittersweet: I looked forward to spending time with her, but I was also nervous about seeing her in such an unwelcoming environment. I remember forcing myself to put on a brave face to keep my mother from seeing me sad.

My mother was released when I was fifteen, and through my hard work and family support, I managed to graduate high school and enroll in college. I study psychology, criminology and Spanish with the hope of becoming a clinical psychologist. I want to use my life experience and research skills to help children who have experienced trauma, including parental incarceration. I’m proud of my success, but I know schools can do more to help students like me.

When my mother was in prison, I was afraid to talk about it with friends, let alone teachers. Children of imprisoned parents are often confronted with judgment. In reality, we have no control over our situation. To combat this stigma, schools must address this issue openly and create opportunities for sharing. Connecting with others affected by their parents’ incarceration helps people feel less alone.

On my college campus I have the Unlocked projectan organization supporting high school and college students in and around DC with incarcerated or formerly incarcerated parents. We offer facilitated peer support groups and information about scholarships, visit support, mentorship programs and other local and national resources.

Over the past year, we have created a community of students who have experienced the incarceration of a loved one and students who have not, but are passionate about social justice. We’ve spoken about our experiences to hundreds of students, organized peer support groups, and are planning an event with a researcher who studies incarceration and families.

The UnLocked Project is one of the things I am most proud of in my college career. I am also part of the Osborne Association See us, support usor SUSU, a national effort to create a community for and raise awareness about children with incarcerated parents. The sooner these children feel seen and heard about this subject, the better.

It is deeply traumatic to be separated from your parents and worry about their well-being. It can also be very isolating. I remember feeling like I was the only one going through it maternal confinementnot knowing that many thousands of children across the country were experiencing the same thing. We need support and community, but one of the biggest challenges is that students often don’t know what resources are available or how to access them.

For example, I didn’t hear about scholarships or mental health services for children of incarcerated parents until my senior year of high school, two years after my mother was released from prison. And what I learned, I didn’t discover at my school, but by Googling.

School communities and districts should create a centralized place—maybe it’s a website, maybe it’s a resource center—where students and their caregivers can find the supports and programs they need without having to ask directly, which can be intimidating can be.

I also encourage teachers to convey their support to the students by posting the message Bill of Rights for Children of Incarcerated Parentsincluding statements such as “I have the right to be heard when decisions are made about me” and “I have the right to be well cared for when my parents are absent.” Teachers and school libraries should also offer books about children of incarcerated parents. Just knowing that there is an adult at school who understands can make a world of difference.

The professional development of educators and school staff on mass incarceration and its impact on children is also critical and should include opportunities to reflect on the implicit biases they may have about incarcerated people and their families. The SUSU Teacher Toolkit is a great place to start.

Teachers and school administrators need to understand that a student who is acting out in class or having problems at school may face challenges at home related to their parents’ incarceration. After all, children with an incarcerated parent are exposed to it five times as many adverse childhood experiences as their counterparts. These types of experiences can undermine our sense of security and stability, which can affect how we show up at school. It is important that the adults we interact with are aware of and able to respond to our needs.

By taking these steps, schools can create an environment where students with incarcerated parents feel seen, affirmed, and equipped to succeed. We are our own individuals with dreams and ambitions. We are not defined by our parents’ past. With less stigma and the right help, we can thrive.

Anna Tovchigrechko is a junior at the University of Maryland and the founder of the Unlocked project.