Community key to survival, say Cape transgenders

On November 19, 2024By Pranco

HYANNIS — Sixty-four images of transgenders who died as a result of violence and suicide flashed across an overhead screen during the film Transgender Day of Remembrance Sunday at the William Sturgis Foundation building on Main Street.

After everyone’s name was read, a bell rang. Two minutes later, another bell rang in honor of the victims of anti-trans violence living in the United States.

“Now is the time to remember our loved ones whose lives were taken,” he said Noah Glika Trans Health Program Youth and Family Coordinator at Fenway Health. “Those who didn’t make it. And those who were murdered for merely existing. They left us their wisdom, their courage and their bravery and we owe it to them to use it.”

About 100 people attended the vigil, organized by the Cape and Islands Trans Resource Fund. The event coincides with the national Transgender Day of Remembrancewhich will be observed on November 20, said Ann Burke, an advocate for the Violence Recovery Program at Fenway Health.

The annual event aims to honor the memory of transgender people whose lives were lost to acts of anti-transgender violence and suicide, Burke said.

The number of transgender people murdered in the US nearly doubled between 2017 and 2021 facts released by Everytown for Gun Safety. Of those, 73% were killed with a firearm, according to the report. Black transgender women accounted for nearly three-quarters of known victims.

“It’s sad. It’s very emotional. But we have to keep going. We have to keep advocating for things like this not to happen,” Burke said. “It’s all about community and being there for each other.”

Speakers say community is the key to survival

Glick, who uses these pronouns, is a queer and trans person based in Boston. During their speech, Glick said it’s easy to feel despair, exhaustion, and fear as an openly queer person in society. But their work with transgender youth has helped them stand strong.

“I feel fortunate to work full-time with trans youth. I try to make the world a little easier for trans and gender diverse children and their families,” said Glick.

Beans, 24, who uses the pronouns he/him or she/them, identifies as a genderqueer lesbian. During the vigil, Beans said they often felt alone as a trans and queer person. But when Beans attended their first Transgender Day of Remembrance, they felt an overwhelming sense of community and love.

“I used to live in a group home. And I wasn’t treated the way anyone should be treated. It was hard because I was the only trans person and the only real queer person,” said Beans, who did not reveal their full name. .

‘Only one person at a time’

Melissa, a transgender advocate, said at the vigil that she has set rules about how she responds to transphobic comments or people who have negative attitudes toward non-binary issues. Instead of getting angry, she says she tries to educate people through communication, interaction and experience. Melissa chose not to reveal her last name.

“My approach to change is to try to change one person – just one person at a time,” says Melissa. “I realized over time that I have no control over what other people think or do. I only have control over my reaction to them.”

Melissa said she knew she was a girl at the age of four.

“I went to my mother and said, ‘Mommy, there’s a problem. I’m a girl, but everyone calls me a boy. She told me on no uncertain terms, ‘No, you’re absolutely wrong. You’re a boy.’ Don’t ever say that again,” Melissa said.

When Melissa turned 65, she said she realized that the feeling of being a woman was still inside her.

“This didn’t go away,” she said. Eventually, Melissa shared her feelings with a therapist and began to identify and live as a woman.

“From that point on, things changed,” Melissa said. “I came out. I train in public and I try to live my own life.”

Speakers said they felt anxious after the election

After the presidential elections concluded on November 5, Glick felt exceptionally anxious and worried about how they would be handled.

“I don’t want to spend my time worrying about the future … or fearing what we might lose,” Glick said. “I remember that I am not alone. We are in this together and we are a resilient community.”

The political climate was difficult for Beans.

“After the election, I felt emotional,” Beans said. “I had to take a step back and surround myself with community.”

‘Transgender people are an easy target’

Burke, who has worked in nursing and hospice for most of her career, launched the Cape & Islands Trans Resource Fund in 2021. Through her work, Burke realized that the transgender community had little to no support on the Cape.

“The transgender community is a misunderstood community and transgender people are easy targets because of that lack of knowledge,” Burke said. “I wanted transgender people to understand who they are. And to understand that they have just as much right to live their lives authentically as anyone else.”

Through the fund, Burke has support groups for transgender communities and has also developed a program that provides financial assistance to transgender and gender non-conforming people in need.

“From headlights to hotel rooms, to mortgage payments and car repairs, we help people in need,” says Burke. “It’s a great fund and we run on donations and grants we get from local banks.”

One supportive adult can make a difference

Trans youth have high suicide rates, Burke says, for a variety of reasons, including parental rejection and lack of access to hormone therapy. But studies have shown, Burke says, that having one supportive adult in their lives reduces the risk of suicide by 75%. The support group acts as a support system.

“Gender diversity exists in every culture and geographic context. It should be celebrated, not pathologized,” Burke said.

For families struggling with the collective concerns and challenges transgender people face, Burke suggests watching films like “He, She, They” and Elliot Page’s “Close to You.” Getting involved with the transgender community is also a step forward, Burke said.

There is no right or wrong way to be trans

There is no right or wrong way to be trans, Beans said.

“I want you to feel love and be at home in your body. You have to live for yourself. Gender is a spectrum and only we can decide who we are,” Beans said. “Feeling loved is one of the best things in the world.”

Dirk Correiawho uses the pronouns “he/him,” helped organize the vigil and told the crowd that the most courageous thing the trans community on the Cape and beyond can do is to thrive, grow and survive.

“A day like today is important. Remember that. It shows how important the community is to us,” Correia said.

Rachael Devaney writes about community and culture. Reach her out [email protected].

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