Five Ways Women Can Encourage Their Men to Be More Emotionally Vulnerable, According to Psychology | Kathryn Brown Ramsperger

For decades (centuries, forever) our culture has worshiped the strong, silent type… but men are finally waking up to a fact we already possess (as women): filling up our emotions – we are told to feel nothing, nothing to express – is toxic to our bodies and our relationships. It can take some getting used to for a man who is starting to express himself. We say we want a sensitive man, but what we mean is that we want a man who understands us and our sensitivity, who always listens.

So, when your man finally starts to express himself, how can we as women show up for him in that unknown territory? We certainly weren’t taught how to deal with their emotions better than they were.

Here are five ways women can encourage their husbands to be more emotionally vulnerable:

1. Acknowledge the ways you are denying him his humanity

When do you cut off your husband? he tries to explain how he feels? Are you talking about him? Tell him how he feels? Do you twist his words until they end up being about you and your feelings, or about how he isn’t living up to your expectations? If so, stop.

Acknowledge that you have behaved this way and that you no longer want it. Men already find it difficult to open up, and not many people have good male friends, according to research by TThe Survey Center on American Life.

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2. Emphasize that feelings are not ‘feminine’

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You don’t have to act more ‘masculine’ just because your man shows emotions. Expressing feelings and emotions isn’t being ‘feminine’… it’s being human.

Men have always been sensitivebut now we give them permission and space to reveal that side of themselves, something most men do for us all the time. This is evident from research by the University of MichiganMen are just as emotional as women.

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3. Let him talk

Most importantly, stop telling him to be quiet! You don’t have to solve all his problems, any more than he has to solve yours. Modeling practice active listening. Research of The University of Rochester shows that people who actively listen with their partners can lead to happier relationships.

How would you handle the same situation with your best friend? If you don’t know, ask him what he needs. Maybe he needs a hug or just some space to just listen.

4. Stop questioning his motives

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If he’s having a bad day spending a night in his “man cave” playing video games… let him do that. Don’t take it as a rejection. When we give men space to process their feelings, they come back to us healthier – and hotter – than ever. And they will feel more willing to listen to us on our bad days.

Support in relationships is a two-way street. Research shows consistency that support within a relationship is of great importance as it contributes significantly to overall well-being, mental health and relationship satisfaction.

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5. Realize that men process emotions differently than we do, and therefore express them differently

When difficult emotions arise, men usually don’t eat a pint of chocolate ice cream while analyzing their problems from every possible angle. They are much more likely to do so distract or isolate oneself.

Isolating yourself is not the best way to deal with problems. 2021 study found that isolating yourself when you feel sad is a common coping mechanism, but it can significantly worsen depressive symptoms and negatively impact mental health. When he comes to you, be happy and open. Cut out the criticism or eye rolling.

If we know that our men love us, and we know how to respond to their emotions, maybe we can learn to enjoy ourselves their sensitive side. And if we do, our 21st century husband will be sitting next to us for a long time to come, happy and healthy.

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