Movie Review: ‘Meet Me Where I Am’ Opens the Conversation

Directors: Grant Garry
Writers: Grant Garry
Stars: Anthony Rapp, John Farley, Cynthia O’Neal

Synopsis: Meet Me Where I Am explores the theme of grief through individual stories of loss, love and hope. The film aims to normalize grief in our culture and explores how we can actively participate in helping others overcome their grief.

Grief is perhaps the most important topic that almost no one talks about. It is a fact that we will all go through this ordeal and, eventually, be the source of it for the people we love. And yet it seems impossible to grasp. This is an important topic not only to discuss, but to explore further. Grief is difficult to talk about for many reasons, perhaps the most important of which is that it is more cyclical than linear. Many intelligent people have spoken about it in a clinical and scholarly manner, but few have made it truly personal. The new documentary, Meet me where I amattempts to make things a little easier for all of us in our most difficult times.

It’s a documentary for those who are afraid to talk about their grief and pain. And let’s be honest, that’s a large audience. In Western culture in particular, we are taught that there is a right way to deal with loss. The film highlights this in the discussion of Elizabeth Kübler-Ross’s Stages of Grief. Many of us, whether through education or internet research, are aware of this, but don’t know the actual path. The film makes it clear that these stages are not distinct, or even necessarily ordered. Rather, these are experiences that many grieving people tend to have.

Fortunately, the film is not entirely academic. It also focuses on the real details of intense losses that extend throughout the life course and type of death. There are also at least a few people very used to speaking in front of a camera. Broadway musical and feature film star Anthony Rapp To rent outdetails the loss of Jonathan Larson (creator of To rent out) and his mother. The most moving moments in the entire documentary are between Rapp and Cynthia O’Neal, who came together through their grief. As Rapp struggled with his mother’s illness, Larson recommended he attend a support group called “Friend in Deed.” This group was founded by O’Neal, while she was dealing with the death of her husband from cancer. The two have formed a long-standing friendship, and their care and consideration for each other is gentle, knowing and evident.

But there are many more stories to tell throughout the documentary. The most difficult to observe is that of two older parents, whose daughter was murdered. Watching the two look at old photographs and talk about their loss is difficult to deal with. It seems almost too intimate, but there is a sense of honor in observing their brutal honesty about this unfathomable loss. It also seems important to meet them now, where they are, and not immediately after the incident. There is an inherent grace to their experience, as well as an honesty about their appropriate level of anger.

The documentary, written and directed by Grant Garry, is remarkably well balanced. A discussion of grief on the part of the learned angel and the personal angel is extremely difficult. He achieves this not only by involving experts, but by asking them to tell their stories of personal grief. This not only gives us a sense of what grief is, but also the myriad ways it can be experienced and expressed. What happens when a grieving researcher loses a child? How does it impact a future expert in the field when they experience the loss of a sibling? If grief is different for everyone, how can we help others? Importantly, the film also focuses on what not to do. As people who support those close to us, what we say is more important than we realize. So it may be helpful not to simply offer platitudes, which involves destroying decades of cultural formation.

Meet me where I am is an important starting point for tackling a truly unavoidable problem. This starts the conversation in an empathetic, generous and kind way. If you’re looking for in-depth information on the science or emotions of grief, you’ll likely be disappointed. But if you lack scientific or real knowledge about grief, this is a nice and open way to begin the process.

Grade: B+