Grieving men open up to “Grieving Pint” sessions

When 18-year-old Ben Mason suddenly lost his mother to a brain aneurysm in February 2022, he struggled to find a way to comfortably talk about his feelings. After failing to connect with talk therapy, the university student decided to turn his grief into something positive and created a community service business where men like him could speak freely.

“I knew it was a good idea and I knew it was an idea that wasn’t done, but I didn’t really expect it to go as well as it did,” Ben said.

Now 20, he said he was “at first quite reluctant to talk” about his grief, given the rarity of discussion about mental health among those around him.

“When I went back to university, I realized there was a lot of pressure for people to talk about their mental health.

“I gave in to peer pressure by trying to talk to someone, but found it very lethargic.”

Ben, from Richmond, Surrey, felt the traditional treatment pathway had “a lot of obstacles”, such as long waiting lists and inconsistent counsellors.

Ben’s obvious pain also had an impact on those around him.

His childhood friend, Manny Langton, said: “When Ben went through what he went through, I felt it was difficult to ask him about his feelings.

“I really struggled to be able to talk openly about such a significant trauma in his life.

“I always felt like I should have done more, but I didn’t want to do too much.”

Nine months after his mother’s death, Ben began exploring the idea of ​​creating a space for men to promote positive conversations about mental health and, with a friend, created The Grieving Pint.

The initiative began in March 2023, providing fellow University of Bristol students with the opportunity to talk about their mental health issues in a relaxed setting over a pint.

With the slogan “Speak today to save tomorrow,” the community service company aims to change the way young men view themselves, their mental health and those around them.

It was designed to start conversations by providing men with the confidence and space to open up, with the aim of ending the “silent struggle” many face.

The sessions began in pubs in Bristol, before spreading to Bath, Exeter and Swansea.

Alcohol is optional during sessions and organizers say they encourage responsible drinking.

Manny, who studies at the University of Bath, joined the team in September.

“If we can target men in situations where they don’t feel like they have to feel good and don’t need to feel on guard, that’s where we really want to focus.”

“That’s where we’ve seen our big success, where men feel like they can open up over a pint with a friend,” he said.

“Life is hard. There’s going to be stress, but the added stress of looking good and feeling good when in reality you don’t – that’s what we’re trying to change.”

Ben said: “It’s a really nice feeling to have done something positive and helped those around me, especially people who look like me.

“It had a much broader impact than I thought.

“It’s sometimes hard to measure success, and I forget that it’s something I founded and it’s done well.

“Sometimes I don’t realize it as much as maybe I should.”

Ben said: “It’s been a huge success and it’s really good to see this in such a short space of time.”

As he prepares to begin the next chapter of his life in Australia, Manny will continue to lead The Grieving Pint.

“The hardest part men face is admitting they need help,” Manny said.

He added that the stigma surrounding men’s mental health is “the biggest barrier.”

“That’s the main goal of what we’re trying to change.

“Our aim is to give men the confidence to talk openly about their mental health, giving them the space and tools to do so in a way that breaks these stigmas.

“There are stigmas everywhere – not necessarily just within friendship groups or in workplaces – they are present throughout our society and our goal is to eliminate them step by step.”

Ben added: “I don’t think mental health is talked about as much as it should be.

“When guys talk about it, I think there’s a lot of reluctance, they reassure themselves in the conversation about what they’re saying.

“They try to downplay it. A lot of guys hide what they’re going through and how they feel.”

“Men are less likely to seek help for their mental health,” the association said.

In the future, Ben hopes to target a wider audience and explore more ways to “put men’s mental health within reach of those who need it.”

“If we can help in any way, we will,” he said.