Meet the triathlete who happens to be transgender and deaf

In May, Kamden Romano became the first LGBTQ+ and deaf triathlete to compete in the famous Escape From Alcatraz triathlon. Since I have had hearing problems my whole life, anyone who overcomes this ordeal is immediately a hero.

A few years ago, when Netflix I have never was one of the streaming service’s most popular shows, I wrote about the actor Dino Petrera. As I watched the show, I noticed, from a shot behind his head, that he had hearing aids in both ears. I’ve never seen this on television before.

That’s why when I heard about Romano, I immediately contacted him after he finished Alcatraz in 2:47:45 and placed third in the Open division. “My coach and I worked together week after week to adjust the training load. It was a success because I escaped,” he said with an intentional pun. “I loved kicking ass on the tough Alcatraz course. »

Romano was born in Elmhurst, Illinois, and currently lives in Huntley, Illinois. He was born deaf into a hearing family and has two siblings, one of whom is also deaf.

“I grew up playing soccer and joined the United States Women’s Deaf Soccer Team in 2004. I competed in two Deaflympics in 2005 and 2009 and won three gold medals . I also participated in a Deaf World Cup in 2012,” he says.

Romano studied at Gallaudet University in Washington, DC, and graduated in 2009 with a bachelor’s degree in physical education. During this period, he played for a women’s soccer team, the DC Divas, and then the Chicago Force. In 2010 he started running and has been competing in triathlons for five years.

“I have run 10 marathons, over 30 half marathons and recently completed my first 50k in February on my birthday,” Romano enthused. “In 2019, I switched to triathlons. I love taking on new challenges and pushing my body to its limits.

Since I have hearing problems, I’m always curious about how others became deaf. “I was born completely deaf,” Romano told me in an email exchange. “My parents learned sign language and started teaching me, but I learned more when I started school at age 3. ASL has always been my first language.”

Being deaf can be a challenging world for hearing people, and I wondered, especially as an athlete, if Romano felt that was true. “Even though I’m deaf, I have no physical limitations. I can still do everything a hearing person can do, except for the hearing part,” he said.

However, he explained that his entire life has been filled with communication obstacles. “As an athlete, it can be difficult for me to access race information such as announcements or athlete briefings,” he said. “I miss the excitement and the national anthem. And I can’t position myself at the front of the starting line because I can’t hear the horn signaling the start, so I usually stand behind some runners and start when they do.

That said, there is an advantage to being deaf. Romano said it helps him stay focused during the race and not get distracted by all the noise.

As for his identity, Romano told me that he came out at the age of 18 after winning a gold medal at the Deaflympics in Australia. “I came home and told my mom I kissed a girl at the dance club. She said, “Oh, it’s normal, people get drunk and have fun.” She was happy that I had a good time in Australia, but she didn’t understand it.

It took Romano a while to figure out how to explain what was happening. “About a month later, the day before my birthday, I walked into her room. I was so nervous. I said, ‘Remember when I kissed a girl in Australia?’ She said, ‘Yeah, so what?’ I said, ‘Well, I liked it, I’m interested in women.’ She was a little shocked, but the next day she texted me to wish me a happy birthday and told me she loved me no matter what and wanted me to be happy. It was a great birthday present.”

Twelve years later, he told a few friends that he identified as transgender. “I had the same feelings again. Coming out isn’t easy. I was nervous and worried about my friends’ reaction to the news. They were all very supportive, which was a huge relief. »

And Romano used the experience of coming out to his friends as a test before telling his mother. “It was a little harder for her to accept the news. My mother came with me to my first appointment for my hormone replacement therapy. She asked questions and tried to understand the process; it meant a lot to know that she supported me and loved me. I’m her oldest and she named me, so when I changed my name, I included her in the process: we agreed on Kamden.

I asked Romano what advice he would give to young deaf gay men who might read his story. “Take care of your body. You live in there. Treat it like it’s your home. Do what makes your soul happy. And don’t let your deafness or gender identity stop you from doing what you love. Life is too short. »

Finally, he told me that participating in Alcatraz was a perfect metaphor for his life. “I feel like escaping from prison fits perfectly with this Pride Month and my transgender journey. I escaped the bad body and am finally enjoying the freedom to be who I am. It’s like escaping society and having the freedom to love who you want and be who you want.