Author John Green Reveals the Phillip Roth-Inspired Rule That Keeps His 18-Year Marriage Strong (Exclusive)

The “Paper Towns” author and his wife, Sarah Urist Green, first met at boarding school and have two children, ages 10 and 14.

After nearly two decades of marriage, John Green and his wife are stronger than ever — and he’s not shy about explaining why!

During a screening of the film The turtle is at the bottom — which is based on John’s novel of the same name — the author opened up about his marriage to wife Sarah Urist Green, and how the two are still so happy 18 years after saying “I do.”

When asked what rules have guided their relationship over the years, John, 46, had a simple answer.

“We just care a lot about each other,” he told PEOPLE of Sarah, who posed alongside him at the premiere.

Related: John Green Slams Indiana Library for Removing ‘The Fault in Our Stars’ from Young Adult Section

The young adult novelist also recalled a piece of information about love that he gleaned from fellow author Philip Roth’s 2000 novel. The human stain. “There’s a beautiful line in a Philip Roth novel where someone says, ‘It’s not about owning the person, it’s about having a competitor in the room with you,'” says Green . “And for Sarah and I, we’re each other’s competitors in the room.”

John and Sarah – who share two children, son Henry, 14, and daughter Alice, 10 – first crossed paths at school in Indian Springs as teenagers but didn’t start dating until years later.

As John’s TikTok-famous brother Hank Green explains in a 2010 video announcing Henry’s birth on their shared YouTube channel “vlogbrothers,” the Looking for Alaska The author “paid little attention” to his current wife at the time. Years later, he recalled, “Well, I think I thought she was kind of cute. »

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“Sarah, on the other hand, remembers the charming, nerdy upper-class man very clearly, even though their interactions were rare,” Hank adds.

After graduating from Alabama boarding school, it would be a decade before the two crossed paths again. At the time, Sarah was living in Chicago and learned that her friend and training partner had previously dated John.

Soon after, they reconnected, began emailing, and then dating in 2004. A year later, John proposed and they married in Alabama.

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The couple of 18 years keep their relationship private, though John has shown his support for Sarah on his social media. In 2020, he ended an Instagram hiatus to promote his book, Are you an artist.

“This is a fascinating book filled with incitement to creativity from all kinds of artists,” he wrote at the time. “For me, the book was a real balm in the midst of fear, helping me to be more mindful while creating things for and with.” People I like.”

The couple has also walked several red carpets together over the years, including at the premieres of John’s book-to-film adaptations. Our opposite stars And Paper towns.

After the premiere of TFIOS In 2014, John shared a photo of the couple on Instagram and wrote, “So special to share this with the love of my life.”

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