How My Dad’s Approach to Personal Style Inspired My Love of Shopping – Essence

Few people have influenced my personal style more than my dad. My timeline and mood boards are filled with influencers like the late singer Aaliyah and 70s movie references, but none quite like him. From the way I shop to the pieces I curate to my love of a good vintage find, my dad is—and always has been—a key source of inspiration.

For as long as I can remember, my dad has loved shopping. Whether it was browsing the aisles of department stores or exploring boutiques in Paris and Switzerland on his business trips for niche brands we didn’t have in the States, nothing brought him more joy than finding a quality purchase. And he always made sure to bring me something back from each trip, which opened the door to a multitude of options beyond my favorite mall retailers.

Some of my earliest memories are of browsing the very small assortment of stores in the heart of Indianapolis, for nothing and everything at the same time, alongside my father. It was something we did, just the two of us, although my mother would occasionally accompany me to make sure I was also getting what I needed rather than settling for what I wanted. just the things I wanted. We would browse the children’s departments at Saks Fifth Avenue and Nordstrom, before heading to Stride Rite, a ’90s retailer that always had a batch of fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies for customers to try on shoes. It was the first time I saw shopping as a leisure activity, rather than an errand to run.

Then, when e-commerce boomed in the early to mid-2000s, my dad jumped in. He introduced my mom and me to discount designer sites like Gilt Group, RueLaLa, and Bluefly (which was featured on the hit show Gossip Girl). He was always ten steps ahead, setting timers for digital presentations on these sites for his favorite brands like Ralph Lauren and Loro Piana.

The same goes for thrift shopping. Decades before Gen Z started taking over thrift stores, my dad would head to our local vintage stores to hunt for deeply discounted pieces from his favorite designers. For him, it was always a thrill to get a good deal. The affordable price tag was just the cherry on top. Now, he has his favorite consignment stores in my hometown, which have in turn become my new favorites, too.

It should be noted, however, that despite his athletic wear purchases, my dad is quite picky. A former tax attorney born in Mississippi, he has his favorite brands and his favorite navy color palette, which he has always stuck to for the past 30 years of my life. I’ve heard the phrase “quality over quantity” more times than I can count, as he’s tried to encourage me to invest in desirable fabrics and well-made pieces over the dozens of Forever 21 tanks and Hollister henleys I’ve brought home.

I would say that his words eventually stuck with me as an adult, as I began to weed out the pilled sweaters and ill-fitting pants I had accumulated over the years, repairing all the damage done to my wardrobe. His advice started to hit home around the age of 23: I started buying less and better, but he was already thinking about what would come next.

A few years before Marie Kondo inspired a new generation of minimalists, my dad was already doing it. As quickly as he started building his wardrobe, he was getting rid of things he no longer wore in an attempt to strip down to the essentials. And for no other reason than that he wanted a lighter lifestyle.

When I moved to New York almost a decade ago, the first thing he wanted to do was go to Woodbury Commons, the open-air designer outlet an hour outside of the city. I watched him scan the aisles of Saks Off Fifth and Neiman’s Last Call like a Robocop, before settling on a double-breasted coat from the (now defunct) Ted Baker, which he still wears today.

That’s when I realized that I knew everything I knew and loved about shopping was down to him. When I pick something out these days, I stick to classic black pieces that I can wear with anything. Like my dad, I invest in fabrics like cotton and linen that will last longer than a few seasons. And most of all, I love a bargain and vintage find. Today, at 30, I sit in my New York City apartment surrounded by things which brought me joy and now seems like a mess, I’m thinking about how I too can become a minimalist, just like my father.