Why can't we stop stressing about this?

Most days when I log into work, after checking my emails and chatting with my boss, I turn on the TV.

As a TV critic for USA TODAY, I spend my days watching TV shows, so I can advise our readers on what to watch and what to avoid. I watch everything from reality to fantasy to game shows to horror to comedy. I love television, and there’s nothing I like more than defending a great show that too few people have seen (check out “We Are Lady Parts” on Peacock) or criticizing a show that truly deserves my anger (I’m not angry, just disappointed by “Star Wars: The Acolyte”). Some may view television as a waste of time, but I see it as a net benefit to society. It changes our culture, shapes our ideals and produces some of the greatest art of our time.

So if it’s so easy for me to while away the hours watching grand drama unfold on a screen, why do I suddenly act like television is a foreign and terrifying concept when it comes to my little girl wanting to watch “Bluey” while I cook dinner?

Modern parenting is full of stressors that our parents never had to deal with 30 years ago, and “screen time”—as anything involving a TV, tablet, or phone is now called for kids and teens—is one of the generational burdens we have to shoulder. When should we introduce screens? What TV shows are acceptable? Are iPads and phones worse than a big TV? Am I a horrible person if I watch Miss Rachel on YouTube so I can unwind for 30 minutes after a long day of work and childcare?

As with any aspect of parenting, everyone has an opinion, and on social media (especially Instagram and TikTok), some of them are amplified exponentially. Parents can feel shamed and judged. On Instagram, the social media platform of choice for millennial parents like me, videos abound of parents (usually mothers) living idyllic “screen-free” lives in which their seemingly perfect children play independently for hours, hike miles, and behave perfectly, all because they’ve never heard of “Frozen.” You If you’re as good a mother as I am, these videos seem to say, you could parent without the help of the iPad.

Without even realizing it, I was succumbing to screen-induced fear as judgmental videos flooded my For You pages on Instagram and TikTok. I was torn between watching the Netflix series “Puffin Rock” while my daughter was home sick and I had an important meeting. I cringed every time she asked to watch TV outside of her usual routine. I worried she would collapse the moment it was time to turn the TV off.

What the experts say: How to Adjust Screen Time for Your Family

I was so excited that I even talked my boss into letting me spend a month talking to experts on the subject for an article, from doctors to educators to other parents to the people who make the shows my daughter loves. It was pretty therapeutic.

After telling this story, I can tell you one thing I’ve learned for sure: There is no right answer for everyone. There is only one right answer for every family. You know your child. You know your life. And other people’s wiggling fingers and perfect Instagram videos don’t matter.

It’s easy to say that you don’t care what other people do or think, and it’s harder to feel it.

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But I’ve learned that watching TV just for the fun of it can be good for adults and kids alike. I tell my readers this every day when I recommend the new season of “The Bear” (with a few asterisks) or rank the top 10 TV shows of the year. I get so much joy from watching (good) TV, and I dream of the day when I might be able to share some of my all-time favorites with my daughter. I can’t wait until she’s old enough to go on adventures through time and space on “Doctor Who” or understand every joke her dad and I make about “The Office.”

The experts I talk to about screen time recommend balance: Screens are part of a fulfilling childhood that includes outdoor activities, independent play, crafts, school, family time, and more. So sometimes I have to put “Bluey down.” Then we might go to the playground, and I might worry about my daredevil child jumping off the play structure. Then we come home, and I might worry about potty training. And then, at bedtime, I worry about her not sleeping.

There’s a lot to worry about when you’re a parent. Maybe now I can put an end to my screen anxiety. At least until she’s old enough to have her own phone.