A Mom’s ‘Honest’ Post About Why It’s Okay to Not Find Motherhood Fulfilling

A mother has spoken out about her experience of motherhood, challenging society’s expectation that every mother should find the role fulfilling.

Lauren Archer, 38, shared her honest thoughts on the often lesser-talked-about aspects of parenthood, such as the sacrifices you make and forgetting who you were before you became a mum.

“The idea that motherhood isn’t just about fulfilling me is a theme that has come back to me over and over again throughout my 7 years as a parent,” Archer said. Newsweek.

She said that after watching film clips on social media, it can be “incredibly easy” to come away feeling “inadequate.”

Sharing her reasons for posting about her motherhood realities, Archer, from Los Angeles, said Newsweek that she wanted to feel less alone in her thinking: “I love my children, but I also want to love myself and what I do.”

“Maternal mental health is important and it is important to have a realistic view of parenting and explore the duality of emotions and how both can live in the same space without giving or taking from each other,” the mother of two said.

The response to her video, which has been viewed nearly 800,000 times, has been “overwhelmingly positive”, with many mums expressing gratitude for Archer’s honesty.

One Instagram user commented: “I appreciate you sharing this. The comments are so weird. It’s an old and common truth, but people are so determined to make it taboo to talk about it that they prefer to pretend it’s not a real or common experience.”

Another wrote: “The harsh judgment that mothers face for being honest is the reason why necessary conversations about motherhood never happen. Motherhood is a harsh reality and it’s important for mothers to share it.”

Acknowledging that some of the comments were negative in nature, Archer said Newsweek that it’s “wonderful to connect” with others who feel the same way: “It shows me that there is value in having these conversations and that they matter.”

When asked if she thought motherhood was what she expected, Archer said Newsweek:”This is absolutely not what I thought and it is infinitely better.

“Motherhood is like a rubber ball, all these feelings, good and bad, wrapped around you and bouncing you in unexpected directions.

“They all live in the same space but can be detached and kept individually.

“I think maybe that was the point of my article: motherhood is all these things mixed together and for some people, some of the elastics are thicker or tighter but, at the end of the day, we’re all just trying to figure out what’s at the center.”

Although other users questioned why Archer posted his video in the first place, his general observation was “this is something we need to talk about.”