Ladies: Answer These 10 Questions Men Ask About Modern Dating

It’s time to stir the fire and turn this article into a series of arguments in the comments section.

Seriously, since when did trying to have a dialogue between the sexes become such a controversial topic?

Before we begin, I want to spark a positive conversation where men and women can express their thoughts without feeling attacked.

It’s crazy that I have to add a preamble, often because some people are so outraged by the title that they don’t read the article to the end.

Take a deep breath, remove your tongue from the roof of your mouth, lower your shoulders, and allow your eyebrows to have some space from your nose.

Now that the jokes are over, a serious conversation should take place between men and women.

I talk to men every day through general conversations or coaching sessions.

There are a series of recurring questions that arise and I thought it would be great to write an article and pass the mic to women and let them help today’s men find answers.

While I hope this will be an open forum for women to be honest, I hope men can accept the honesty and appreciate women taking risks to respond.

Let’s go!

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What are the signals a man needs to approach?

Some men have what it takes, but I advise against the cold approach. There’s a running joke in the male community that there’s no advice for a cold approach other than “be the one she’s attracted to.” What signals should men look for to get the green light to approach a woman? No, we’re not talking about the eye contact from across the room. What are some new signals women are sending that men aren’t getting?

What Makes a First Date Instantly Awful?

As men, we hate dates where we have to play the role of question master. We know you don’t like guys who can’t stop talking about themselves. Besides a date that lacks flow and interaction, what are some other ways a guy can lose you on his first chance?

What gender roles have changed for men since yours changed?

I don’t think we need to go back to the 1940s, when women were only allowed to work in lower-level positions. The idea here is not to destroy the progress that has been made. This is a debate about traditional versus modern roles.

I love that women have made strides in society, but there seems to be a desire to be a modern woman while expecting men to fit their traditional roles: provide, protect, and pursue.

Men are not fighting against modern women. Their problem is that the “modern role” is one-sided.

Why are some women proud to be intimidating?

I don’t understand this topic myself. I have to be honest with you. Some men may be shy or nervous around women, but men are generally not intimidated by women. If I heard that I was intimidating the opposite sex, my first, second, and third priority would be to correct it.

What is toxic femininity and what is misandry?

Men hear this all the time: our negative traits and characteristics that women are tired of seeing in their romantic relationships and everyday lives. What are some things women do that are toxic and degrading to men? Let’s try to stay away from the positive-negative aspects. “We care too much” won’t work here.

How does a man stand out from the crowd?

One of the problems with modern dating is that women have too many choices and you are stuck with the burden of choice. How can a man stand out from the crowd when he is just one of the “options you have” with limited methods to win them over?

How does a man impress at first sight?

Men have a quick list of what they look for to satisfy their sense of “instant attraction.” What are women looking for in that 7-second window where we form our first subconscious opinion? I know the answers here, but let’s have a little fun.

When did average become such a negative word?

If I told someone I would pay them an average wage for their work, there would be some resistance. If I told someone their car was average, they might want something better.

What’s so shocking about being called an average man? What’s so shocking about looking for the average man?

There is a sense of inflated ego on both sides, and “average” is no longer acceptable, and it is a “failure” to be in that category or to consider men in that category acceptable.

Why is the 6,6,6 rule so popular?

For those living under a rock, the 6,6,6 rule is: 6 inches, 6 feet tall, and 6 numbers.

I have no problem with the criteria you set for yourself and what you want. The problem is that it severely limits your dating pool.

I don’t think all women have this criteria, but when you limit your criteria to qualities that are rare in average men, you create a double-edged sword. On the one hand, you won’t meet someone who fits that list. On the other hand, if you’re all looking for the same man, he’ll now have to make a choice.

What would you like men to know about women?

Chef’s choice here. Open mic to express anything.

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I hope this is a positive interaction. Let’s avoid aggressive comments and engage in honest dialogue if you choose to comment!

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This article was previously published on medium.com.

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Excerpt from the Good Men project on Medium

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The post Ladies: Answer These 10 Questions Men Ask About Modern Dating first appeared on The Good Men Project.