Katherine Ryan: 'My love language is intimacy. That's what my comedy is about'

I was an anxious child. I wanted to please everyone and do everything perfectly. My mother treated me almost as an equal and I had a lot of really cool feminist women to look up to. Men weren’t as impressive.

My childhood was I was very happy. My parents worked full time and my dad also played golf, so my two younger sisters and I were often left to our own devices, which was a good thing. We didn’t have screens, so we made up our own little games.

My parents are divorced When I was 15 it was acrimonious and they have never been in the same room together since. It helped me when I left the father of my eldest daughter, Violet. I knew from experience that there was a peaceful and kind way to separate.

I got the message I realized early on that the best thing I could be as a young woman was to be pretty, because all the female role models in my family were glamorous. But I wasn’t pretty: I was clumsy and said the wrong things. So I changed course as a teenager: I decided to become a sexy blonde cheerleader who prioritized boys and parties. It wasn’t a good choice.

I did not have I had facial surgery, but I think I will have a facelift in the next 10 years. I recognize that I am poisoned by my culture. I still value beauty and am rewarded for my glamorous appearance.

Biology attracted me I decided to have two more kids (with my husband and former high school sweetheart Bobby Kootstra) by saying, “You’re 35. Do you want to have more kids or not?” So that’s the path I took, but I think I’d be just as fulfilled if I’d continued on my previous path: Violet and I could live in New York. I could be on a jet right now.

My love language It’s intimacy. I want to tell people my life story and I want them to tell me theirs. That’s what my humor is about. I have no choice but to be authentic. That’s what attracts people.

I would lie If I said I don’t like money, it gives me a sense of security and accomplishment. I feel very lucky to be offered huge sums of money, comparatively speaking, to go and have fun. It seems rude to me to say no.

Every time I get stuck I did it without realizing it, or almost. If I think something is unfair and it’s happening in front of me, then I do what I think is right at the time. I don’t think enough about the consequences of events. Maybe that’s the best way to be.

I am very mentally I am robust. It makes me immune to criticism. I don’t try to anticipate how people might want me to behave. Part of that comes with age. I go to bed every night and there’s no voice in my head worrying me about anything, because every day I show myself as honestly proud as I can.

Katherine Ryan’s new tour, Battleaxe, will hit UK venues from September (livenation.co.uk)