Back-to-school conference offers ways to help parents – Salisbury Post

Helping parents was the goal of the back-to-school parent conference, said the Rev. Dean Hunter, pastor of Kannapolis Central Baptist Church, which hosted the conference.

The Aug. 24 event was the first time they held the back-to-school conference, Hunter said, but he had wanted to hold it for about 10 years as a way to help parents.

In addition to being pastor of the church, he is also a member of the Rowan-Salisbury Schools Board of Trustees and noted that his wife is an elementary school teacher and has children in public schools and said that “over the years, as a father and a board member, I have learned a lot, and one thing I have learned is that parents need help.”

Hunter expressed gratitude to those who were very willing to be there to lead the sessions and to those who were present, as he said their presence was proof that they cared about their families and students.

The conference included two main events, one at 9 a.m. with Dr. Kelly Withers, Rowan-Salisbury Superintendent of Schools, speaking and a second at 11:50 a.m. with a panel discussion.

“I am fortunate to serve as superintendent of Rowan-Salisbury School,” Withers said, “and I love my job.”

In preparing for the event, she said she focused on the fact that “it takes a village to raise a child,” adding that the parent is the leader of that village and shapes the child’s experiences.

Withers provided a succinct description of who she is, starting with being a Christian, a mother of three, wife to husband Lee, an educator and a superintendent.

“I grew up wanting to be a teacher and that’s something I tell parents all the time: Talk to your kids about their future,” she said.

However, in high school, she interned with an ENT doctor and earned a medical degree from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and worked for three years at Rowan Regional Medical Center.

But just three months after her wedding, her father-in-law told her about a job opening at West Rowan and she went for an interview. She was offered the job and “all of a sudden I was in a classroom. But I knew pretty quickly that was where I was supposed to be,” she said.

The next thing Withers shared was a question: “What is your why,” or the why of our work.

Those whys, which she showed in her PowerPoint presentation, were her family and the students she taught over the years.

Some stories didn’t end well and were devastating, like that of a child being killed, and others were special, like their wedding or a first day of teaching, “all because we are still part of their village,” she said.

Withers said her title is superintendent, but she spoke as a mother and educator and shared some things she has learned from raising her own children and interacting with other children.

She began with a lesson for the little ones, explaining how important it is to read to and with children.

“It’s important that they learn that reading is important and the joy of reading is important,” she said.

Second, she stressed the importance of imaginative play which helps develop a child’s creativity, critical thinking skills and helps them solve problems.

Sometimes, Withers explains, “we get so caught up in our adult lives that we forget all that. We forget and put our kids on devices. Other times, we just forget how important it is to let them have time to be kids and play.”

Experience is another lesson for all children and making sure they have time to experience things was another lesson she shared, noting that the school system provides experiences for students including a trip to Washington, D.C. and CTE classes, then stressed the importance of at-home experiences such as walks in the community and discussions about what is seen.

These experiences, she said, “help create a context for them to understand what they’re reading and it helps develop vocabulary, which is really important when they’re reading.”

Another lesson, which Withers says is the subject of a new campaign, is that “school attendance is important.”

She stressed that students not attending school is a national epidemic and that people are not sending their children to school every day because they are planning a trip on a Friday or a midweek appointment.

Drawing everyone’s attention to one of the PowerPoint slides, she showed that when a student misses two days a month, they miss 20 days a year. That’s equivalent to 30 hours of missed math lessons each year and 40 hours of missed literacy lessons each year.

Knowing your children’s friends is another lesson she’s learned. She’s seen this phenomenon over the years when parents come to pick up their children but don’t know the names or addresses of those friends.

“In the name of protecting their children’s privacy, they forget about security,” Withers said.

So knowing children’s names and addresses is important, “but often parents don’t want their children to think they’re monitoring them. Some people monitor too much, but they monitor too much if it’s for safety reasons,” she said.

She touched on a point about social media, saying it’s very important to have a conversation about social media because even though parents may have rules against its use, “if they have friends, then they have access to social media,” Withers said.

Kids today are very concerned about how many likes they get or who reads their posts and these conversations are important.

She concluded her presentation by explaining how incredibly important it is to simply talk to your children and listen to them.

“Most children become very social beings once you get to know them and build a relationship with them,” Withers said. “And they need to talk. And that’s important even when it seems trivial. And when your child is talking, listen to what he or she is saying.”

Participants had the opportunity to participate in three breakout sessions throughout the day.

One of these sessions was hosted by Carla Black, Executive Director of Rowan-Salisbury Middle School, who spoke to parents about the challenges of middle school. Her session, titled “Help, I Have a Middle Schooler!” provided information to encourage parents to help their middle school students through these years.

Explaining that she too was a mom and was “created to be a teacher,” Black told attendees of the “Help I Have a Middle Schooler” session that “there’s no magic formula,” but she added that “what we are as parents and as people who care about middle schoolers is keeping them alive. We’re trying to help them navigate the complexities of the next three years” as a variety of things change, including their bodies, hormones and friends.

At this age, they want more independence, but they’re not ready yet, she explained. “So as parents, you have to try to maintain the guardrail while giving them a little more of the steering wheel,” which is difficult because you know the dangers that lie ahead.

Black also shared the experiences of people in her own village, including her mother, sister and others she taught who served as challengers, calling her out on things as she was growing up.

She said it would be important for middle schoolers to have their own challengers as they “begin to form the identity of who they want to become.”

Parents will sometimes be that challenger, she said, noting that their words are powerful and they sometimes need to remind their child that they expect better of them.

After talking about her college years, Black shared several lessons she’s learned as a mother and educator, starting with: “Sometimes kids don’t believe in what they can do. They believe in what you believe they can do.”

She also taught the group to own up to their mistakes. They will make mistakes, she said, but “it’s important to allow them to take responsibility for them sometimes” and not always save them, but teach them how to grow from them.

She also stressed that you have to listen to your children and not let them cause you a problem without providing a solution that involves them.

Setting rules and consequences is another important lesson that Black says is “most important in middle school because students are going to be testing their limits over and over again. Allow them to make mistakes and face consequences in a way that they can recover from.”

It’s normal to go without a phone or technology and disappointments and challenges will arise, she said, listing the key lessons she’s learned.

In a handout, she provided additional information to parents, including the need to support independence while remaining involved, maintain open lines of communication, monitor academic progress, encourage healthy friendships, teach time management, discuss online safety and encourage extracurricular activities.

After watching a short video, Black said their children will be mean, ungrateful, talk back and make choices that are not good. But, she added, “keep talking and listening and remember that they can get through this because of you. Hold them accountable, keep doing it and know that it will never be a perfect journey.”

Other sessions offered to attendees included: “What is Kindergarten Readiness?” hosted by Jill Hubbard and Laura Jane Hunter, who have 55 years of combined preschool experience. They discussed what children should be prepared for in kindergarten and how to help them develop those skills.

Dr. Natalie Atwell of Concord Counseling Associates presented on the topic of “Setting Healthy Boundaries” providing ideas and strategies to help parents create and implement these boundaries.

“Abuse, Exploitation and Trafficking,” led by Hannah Arrowood, executive director of Present Age Ministries, addressed these three issues and emphasized that awareness of these realities and strategies to avoid them are essential for parents in today’s world.

Kannapolis City Schools Resource Officer and DARE Officer Robert Carson spoke about the “Dangers of Social Media.” In addition to addressing the dangers of social media, he shared plans to help parents create guidelines for their child.

“Exploring RCCC & Career College Promise,” led by Emily Baldwin, Director of Recruitment and Retention, provided information about CCP courses and all that RCCC has to offer students.