Silent wounds: Mothers of abused children’s mental health struggles

According to the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA), at least one in three women and girls in Zimbabwe experience gender-based violence (GBV).

FOR most, February 14 is a day of love and celebration. But for 13-year-old Netsai (not her real name) from Sundire 1 Village in Bocha, it was a day of horror that shattered her innocence.

That morning, she set off for school, her thoughts filled with lessons and friends. Unbeknownst to her, the world around her was about to collapse. Along the way, her 26-year-old married nephew (whom we cannot name to protect the victim) — a known paedophile in the area — allegedly lured her into a secluded, bushy area and raped her. He threatened to kill her if she told anyone.

Netsai arrived at school, but her sudden change in behavior raised alarms. Her teachers, sensing something was wrong, discovered the terrible truth and informed her mother, Tambudzai.

“Seeing her struggle to walk is an image that haunts me, even after six months,” Tambudzai recalls, her voice trembling.

Tambudzai reported the assault to Bambazonke Police, who directed her to Mutare General Hospital, where a medical examination confirmed the sexual abuse. Despite this damning evidence, the case stalled.

Tambudzai repeatedly informed the police of the perpetrator’s return to the village, but her pleas fell on deaf ears.

“I see this man every day, and my heart bleeds,” she said through tears.

When questioned, Sergeant Sabina Madukuti, the investigating officer, explained: “The suspect lives far from our station. We instructed the mother to notify us or the village police when she spots him. We can’t open a docket without a clear intention to investigate.”

This response raises questions about systemic failures in addressing sexual violence cases, particularly in rural areas where resources are scarce, and community attitudes often discourage victims from seeking justice.

“It questions whether the police can protect society’s most vulnerable and the toll that their inaction takes on victims and their families,” analyst Jethro Makumbe said.

National police commissioner Paul Nyathi, when contacted, promised to look into the matter.

Acting on Nyathi’s orders, police arrived in Shundire to search for the suspect, but he eluded capture. By the time of writing, Tambudzai lamented that her daughter’s abuser remains free, and the pain of seeing him walk without consequences is unbearable.

While Netsai’s trauma is evident, the psychological toll on her mother, Tambudzai, is equally deep and often overlooked. The mental health struggles of mothers like Tambudzai, whose children have been sexually abused, rarely enter public discourse, even though they are far from unique.

According to the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA), at least one in three women and girls in Zimbabwe experience gender-based violence (GBV).

Statistics from the National Prosecution Authority indicate that approximately 30 rape cases are reported daily across the country, many involving children.

Prosecutor-General Justice Loice Matanda-Moyo recently highlighted this alarming trend, noting: “Rape cases are increasing nationwide, and what is even more disturbing is that most victims are juveniles. We are urging parents to protect their children from this scurge.”

While statistics often focus on the victims, parents also bear the heavy consequences of abuse.

Research conducted by academics Gaboipolelwe Masilo and Mashudu Davhana-Maselesele, titled Experiences of Mothers of Sexually Abused Children in South Africa’s North-West Province, found that “mothers of sexually abused children frequently suffer from secondary trauma, characterized by depression, anxiety and even suicidal thoughts, as they grapple with their children’s pain and the societal stigma attached to such incidents”.

This resonates with Tambudzai’s own struggles.

“I only eat when she returns from school because that’s when I feel at ease. Seeing her abuser walking freely while I cry myself to sleep is unbearable,” she said.

The fear of re-victimization has left her unable to work or maintain any semblance of normalcy. Netsai’s friend, Amai Ayanda, noted that “Netsai is depressed, always crying and isolating herself”.

Research shows that mothers of abused children often blame themselves, and societal expectations amplify their guilt, trapping them in a cycle of anxiety and self-doubt.

Another mother, whose 16-year-old daughter was raped in Lupane, shared her own haunting regrets: “I left her alone at home, and I can’t forgive myself for it. I’m constantly thinking about how I could have protected her better.”

Psychologist Ivy Mukombachoto adds: “Many people subscribe to the ‘just world hypothesis’, which suggests that bad things happen to those who deserve them. This belief makes mothers feel they somehow caused the abuse, reinforcing their guilt.”

Village head Rodwell Musonza highlighted how harmful comments and blame deepened trauma: “We need a mindset shift. Villagers must support victims and their families instead of ostracizing them.”

For mothers of daughters who have experienced sexual violations, the future is filled with fear. Will their daughters be able to heal, trust again, or find happiness?

United Kingdom-based mental health expert Joyce Dube explains that overcoming these anxieties requires immense mental strength.

For example, consider the wife of a 37-year-old Buhera man who recently raped his 11-year-old daughter three times. Her daughter’s life has been shattered, and the mother struggles to cope with the emotional fallout.

Experts point to a significant lack of government support for mothers, with help mainly coming from private organizations. Human rights lawyer Lucy Chivasa argues that Zimbabwe’s legal system focuses on punishing perpetrators while neglecting the psychological well-being of victims and their families.

“There is a need to reform the system to provide counseling for both survivors and their mothers,” Chivasa says.

“In cases involving children, DNA testing for maintenance claims and inheritance purposes is crucial, and support for grandmothers can alleviate the financial burden.”

Chivasa also emphasizes the importance of support groups for mothers, where they can share their experiences, empower one another, and heal collectively.

Agnes Nhengo, director of gender at the Ministry of Women Affairs, Community, Small and Medium Enterprises Development, noted that the Ministry has established one-stop centers in various provinces, offering holistic services for survivors of sexual and gender-based violence.

“These centers provide health, psychosocial, legal, and police services under one roof, reducing the trauma of moving from one service provider to another,” Nhengo said.

In cases where survivors cannot return home, safe shelters offer temporary accommodation and essential services. UNFPA Country Representative Miranda Tabifor acknowledged that while there is no direct intervention for mothers, survivors receive counseling and can be referred for specialized services.

Tambudzai’s daily struggle reflects the broader crisis that mothers of abused children face. Without adequate support, they are left to wrestle with guilt, fear, and isolation, often in silence.

The system’s failure to provide meaningful assistance leaves them bearing the emotional burden alone, while their daughters’ futures hang in the balance.

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