Dear Abby: I'm worried that rowdy children won't behave well at my son's wedding.

DEAR ABBY: I recently attended the funeral of a family member. During the 90-minute service, my great-nieces and nephews (ages 3-6) were running around the church. Their parents said nothing and allowed them to continue.

After the service, we were all invited to a sit-down meal in the banquet hall of an upscale restaurant. Again, the children (ages 3-13) were allowed to run around, screaming and hitting each other on the dance floor in the center of the room. The noise became deafening, with no regard for the older participants. Again, the parents seemed unconcerned with the noise and did nothing to stop it.

My son is getting married in two months. Many of the children who attended the funeral will be present at the wedding. How do I respond to the fact that I don’t want the same performance from these kids at the wedding and reception? My husband and I are spending a large amount of money on this event, and I don’t want to leave early because of the loud noise and embarrassment. — DEARING IT IN COLORADO

DEAR, I dread it: I don’t blame you for not wanting anyone, regardless of age, to harm your son’s marriage. Now that you are aware of the behavior and lack of discipline of young people close to you, you will have to deal with it directly. Inform parents that this behavior will not be tolerated or welcome. When you receive retaliation (and you will), all you have to do is point out what happened at the funeral and the dinner that followed.

DEAR ABBY: I recently realized that, although she wouldn’t admit it, my mother gave birth to me to replace my older brother, who, for lack of a better way to put it, was kidnapped by legal means in the States -United. 1980s using loopholes in the justice system. Realizing this made me understand why I always felt she resented me for not being him. I grew up in her shadow – something I know she tried her best not to let me see, but I was perceptive enough to sense.

Should I confront my mother, who is so in denial that it is extremely difficult to live in a state far away from her because it is just too close, or should I accept that there is no conclusion on this question when I’m not sure that’s even the case. possible? — SHADED IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR OVERSHADOWED: Regardless of how you came to this revelation, have you tried talking about it with your mother, who may have no idea what’s going on in your head? You won’t know if a conclusion to the affair is possible until you talk to her about your feelings and ask her if she would be willing to discuss all of this with you and a licensed family therapist. Fingers crossed hoping she can help you put this to rest.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.