Meet people in four minutes at regular Duluth event – Duluth News Tribune

DULUTH — How do you make friends as an adult? This is a question you’ll see explored in many videos and think pieces.

Hadrian DeMaioribus, community host at Dovetail Cafe and Duluth Folk School, asked the same question when he took office.

“I found that just having social events without one-on-one meetings didn’t really work very well,” DeMaioribus said. “Many people are nervous about making connections, so if you host a potluck, a few people will talk in the center, but many people will feel awkward on the periphery. Speed-friending helps create a different dynamic.”

He heard about speed-friending events along the West Coast and thought it would be a good way to “create connections and reduce isolation.”

“It’s where everyone meets, one-on-one for a short time. The exact length of time is determined by how many people are there, but usually around three to five minutes,” DeMaioribus said . “We then all swivel a chair down and find a new conversation partner.”

DeMaioribus began organizing the events in the spring and found the dynamic worked well for Duluthians.

“We’ve had anywhere from 10 to 30 people and no matter how many people, it always seems to work,” DeMaioribus said. “We try to keep it around 40 minutes just because I find people start to get a little burnt out around 60 minutes.”

One of the aspects of the event that DeMaioribus said he enjoyed most, both as an attendee and presenter, is that there is no barrier to entry, making it possible to “meet a wide audience.

“If you go to a chess club, you meet chess players. If you go to a cycling club, you meet all the cyclists,” he said. “If you come speed-friending, you meet all kinds of people. People you might never have had the chance to talk to otherwise. It’s fun to meet your neighbors.”

Once everyone has met and talked with everyone, it’s up to them to decide how to proceed from there. People can exchange information to stay in touch, decide to play a game together or, occasionally, DeMaioribus said, organize a group activity after the fact.

“It’s a lot easier to organize something like a potluck if you already know everyone in the room,” he said. “You’ve already met and talked to everyone, so there are no strangers.”

DeMaioribus said people’s reaction to the idea of ​​speed-friending was mixed. At first, some people are very averse to the idea of ​​speaking with 10 to 20 strangers. Others are immediately interested.

“Some people are more anxious than others. I’ve had introverts tell me they were horrified to come but ended up loving the format,” DeMaioribus said. “They leave with a new experience, even if they only come once. And you might find a connection with someone and decide to meet again.”

Speed ​​meets are held twice a month at the Dovetail Cafe at the Duluth Folk School. The next times are 5:30 p.m. on October 18 and 1:00 p.m. on October 25. There are no entry fees.

Teri Cadeau is a reporter for the Duluth News Tribune. An Iron Range native, Cadeau worked for several Duluth area community newspapers, including the Duluth Budgeteer News, the Western Weekly, the Weekly Observer, the Lake County News-Chronicle and, occasionally, the Cloquet Pine Journal. When she’s not working, she’s an avid reader, crafter, dancer, trivia fanatic, and cribbage player.