The #1 Conversation You Should Never Have Over Text, According to an Etiquette Expert – NBC Connecticut

The etiquette around what should be a text message, phone call, or in-person conversation can seem unclear. A lot depends on the relationship you have with the other person and the technological era in which they grew up.

There is, however, a rule of thumb that transcends generations, says Daniel Post Senning, co-author of “Emily Post’s Etiquette: The Centennial Edition.”

“In any conversation that’s likely to be emotionally charged, you want to give yourself the best chance possible to bring all of your emotional tools to it,” he says.

Tone, volume, and body language can all contribute to changing how a message is received and cannot be conveyed through text.

Bad and good news are best communicated over a phone call

The most commonly used example of conversations that shouldn’t be text messages are breakups. But the range of topics that need to be handled delicately is much wider.

“Sharing the news of someone’s death or poor health information, like someone has received a wrong diagnosis,” shouldn’t be done via text, Senning says.

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Alternatively, good news like a marriage proposal or permanent move to your dream city might be best communicated over the phone or in person.

An easy way to tell if a text message should be a call is to check its duration. “If you find yourself writing a paragraph over text, maybe give yourself the opportunity to ask the other person when a good time to call is,” says Senning.

In general, texts should be informative. “They should be used for who, what, when and where,” says Senning. “Don’t call me and tell me the address of a party. Just text me.”

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