Man steals identity and yacht because he ‘wanted to meet Pittsburgh pirates’

Last month, a drunken Pittsburgh man took a ride on a stolen yacht on the Allegheny River. He was arrested, but the story doesn’t end there.

It all started around 6 a.m. on June 21, when a marina manager called the captain of a yacht that was supposed to be docked at the dock to tell him his boat was missing. The captain then called 911 and reported the theft.

Within hours, River Rescue would arrest Michael Fischer, a local homeless man, who allegedly broke into the Lock Wall Marina, jumped on the 82-foot yacht, and set sail. Unfortunately for the would-be captain, he couldn’t get the engine going, so he simply floated down the river. The yacht eventually came to rest along the river wall, about 50 yards from the Pittsburgh River Rescue boathouse (this guy is really unlucky).

According to court documents, Fischer said, “I took the boat. I wanted to meet some Pittsburgh Pirates!”

The yacht’s captain, Adam Kernohan, believes several people were involved, judging by the amount of food and alcohol consumed on board.

“We know he was homeless, we know that,” Kernohan said. “We love this city, and the fact that homeless people feel like they can go ahead and take whatever they want, and just drift away and sail on whatever they want, it’s ridiculous.”

But wait! Kernohan owes the homeless community an apology.

Yacht thief stole homeless man’s identity

In an unexpected twist, police discovered that Michael Fischer had been framed! Fingerprints revealed the thief’s real name was Michael Bonniewell, according to WPXI. It turns out he stole the homeless man’s ID and gave police the wrong name.

But wait, there’s more: Bonniewell is wanted! There is currently a warrant out for his arrest in Minnesota for violating his probation for drug trafficking and theft.

Grand Theft Yacht-o!

(Getty Images)

And apparently, he wasn’t too worried about getting caught. Indeed, when police boarded the yacht, officers found Bonniewell relaxing in an armchair, bottles of alcohol and snacks scattered everywhere.

“He was sitting there, lying there, passed out, with pistachios everywhere, a bottle of rum almost all drunk, just a little bit left in the bottom,” boat owner Michael Jennison told WPXI.

A real Pittsburgh pirate.