Man claims adult birthday dinners have become unfair charity galas

In our unhappy world riddled with economic frustrations, from rising rent costs to multi-hundred dollar grocery bills, sometimes even the happiest days can be overshadowed by our financial anxiety.

This is exactly why once-exciting events like family vacations and birthday dinners are now inaccessible for many.

One man argued that birthday dinners have become expensive and unfair “charity galas.”

“When did birthday dinners become charity galas?” content creator Ike Slimster asked on TikTok. “I’m not trying to be rude. This is a really honest question.”

While financial expectations and relationship dynamics are different, Slimster admitted that, for the most part, everyone expects the dinner bill to be split evenly. “It has nothing to do with me,” he added, arguing against paying for other people’s dinner choices. “I’m here to celebrate you.”

“I didn’t know I came to eat and donate for the other people at the table. I drink water,” he continued. “I saw someone eat a three-course meal. I saw this person take home dessert. And now you’re telling me that it’s because of my love for you that I have to donate.”

Others agreed that big birthday dinners often become unfair and uncomfortable when the bill comes.

Given the economic hardships most adults face, events like birthday dinners have become surprisingly controversial. Often, people don’t even have the luxury of buying organic fruit at the grocery store or that shirt they’ve been wanting, let alone spending hundreds of dollars on an expensive birthday dinner for their friends.

“I think it’s just unfair that someone would choose a really expensive restaurant for their birthday dinner,” Sean Lans said on TikTok, echoing other talk of the celebrations. “Read the room. Yes, it’s your birthday, but you need to know if your friends are going to be happy and comfortable with what you choose… I don’t think your birthday should be about doing the biggest or fanciest thing.”

“I’ve been to birthday dinners with 20+ people where the birthday person pays for everyone,” @neighbourhoodnyssa said on TikTok in response to Slimsters’ post. “Obviously, that’s ideal.”

But that’s not often the case, understandably. She continues her video by explaining that these big dinners are often a logistical nightmare: “Food takes ages to arrive, customers’ orders get mixed up, people switch seats, and it’s just annoying for the restaurant staff… and there’s always that one person who makes a huge scene when the bill comes.”

Especially in today’s economic climate, many people feel that birthday dinners have become too inaccessible and expensive.

Ultimately, it’s up to the birthday person to decide how they want to spend it and who they want to celebrate with. But don’t worry if your birthday dinner, where the cost of a million different appetizers, booze, and even desserts are expected to be “split equally,” isn’t the joyous celebration you’d hoped for.

Great and true friends communicate their wants and needs freely. If someone knows that their friend cannot afford to come to a birthday dinner, they will gladly help them find another solution, whether that means paying the bill or planning another party.

Be honest with your friends and remember that if money is involved, things are likely to get uncomfortable.