Why bride kicked sister-in-law out of bridal party sparks outrage

A woman who was kicked out of her sister-in-law’s wedding party and refuses to contribute to the wedding has received support online.

In a now-viral Reddit post from user u/Naughty_Nici, the 41-year-old explained that she and her brother have always had a great relationship and that she was “heavily involved in organizing things” for his marriage. She was thrilled to be a bridesmaid and even offered to make a financial contribution to the wedding since the bride and groom were on a tight budget.

Things changed when the Redditor also got engaged, which she tried to keep “low key” because she didn’t want to harm her brother and his fiancée, Sarah. She had been with her partner for a long time already, so anyway, it was already like they were married.

The post reads: “After we announced our engagement, Sarah became cold towards me. Tom (brother) later told me that Sarah was upset, feeling like I ‘stole the spotlight’ by getting engaged before their marriage.”

Following this, the bride-to-be decided it would be best if the Reddit author “stepped down from her role as maid of honor” because she wanted all the attention to be on her. The couple felt the poster’s engagement was “too distracting,” so she dutifully agreed.

Even though he removed her from the bridal party, the poster’s brother asked her if she would still pay a significant portion of the wedding expenses. Needless to say, user u/Naughty_Nici was horrified and insisted she wouldn’t help them anymore.

“I politely declined, saying I no longer felt comfortable contributing since I was no longer in the wedding party and felt hurt by the situation,” the Reddit post continued. “Tom was really upset and called me selfish, saying I was ruining his big day. Sarah even accused me of ‘holding grudges’ and trying to punish them.”

Kathy Gilchrist, founder and CFO of Cardinal Bookkeeping & Advisory, says the sister has every right to withdraw her offer because it was a kind gesture, and it’s understandable if she doesn’t feel as generous afterward. that he was told to stand down. down.

“It’s perfectly acceptable for her to withdraw her generous offer of support. It appears they have a right to expect her to still pay for a large portion of their wedding after snubbing her,” Gilchrist said . News week.

Regardless of right or wrong, she says the poster should be wary of the effect their decision could have on the relationship with their brother. Changing the way he thinks about possible repercussions could give him a new perspective.

“She should consider the impact it would have on her relationship with her brother and whether it’s worth it for her. But her brother removing her from the wedding party will also have a negative impact on their relationship,” Gilchrist continued.

Additionally, Erin Gleason, mediator, negotiation consultant and conflict prevention advisor at Gleason Alvarez ADR, suggests that the sister think about why she offered to help pay for the wedding before deciding how to act.

Gleason said News week: “I sympathize with the maid of honor, sister and financial backer of this wedding. It must hurt to be left out of the bridal party at a family wedding, which she clearly intended to contribute to make it wonderful.

“But why did she agree to help her brother and future sister-in-law in the first place? To secure a place in the wedding party? Probably not, she did it because she wanted to provide for them If she wants to maintain a good relationship with this family, the best way would be to keep her promise.

While no family wants conflict, Gleason adds that planning a wedding can be very stressful for couples and arguments can arise. But they don’t have to get out of hand, so she encourages the Redditor to give his brother and his fiancée some grace right now.

What are Reddit users saying?

Since sharing her debacle online on September 28, the post on Reddit has gone viral with over 9,800 upvotes and 1,700 comments so far.

The poster explained that her decision to withdraw the money divided her family because some felt it was fair, while others thought she should stick to her original offer. As a result, she took to the internet to ask if she was wrong “for refusing to cover wedding costs.”

Many Reddit users supported her decision to go back on her promise and were horrified by the decision to remove her from the wedding party.

One comment read: “Why would your engagement announcement have any impact on their marriage? Does everyone need to take a break from their lives until the very excited Sarah gets married? You have no obligation to pay anything for your brother, other than what you have done yourself. I want them to expect money after treating you like this for no good reason, it’s absurd.

Another Reddit user responded: “You don’t need to put your whole life on hold because someone else’s wedding is in a few months. You weren’t stealing the spotlight and she was being petty. “

While another commenter added: “Sarah and Tom have, how can I say this kindly, lost their minds a bit about what’s important in life and how their marriage takes precedence over everything else in their lives? They treated you terribly with respect at the wedding and now they think you should subsidize them?

News week contacted u/Naughty_Nici via Reddit for comment. We have not been able to verify the details of the case.

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