Dear Annie: I Caught My Ex in a Lie That Revealed a Shocking Web of Deceit

Dear Annie: I’m 23 years old and had been dating my first girlfriend, “Sara,” also 23, for almost two years before we broke up just a few weeks ago. Over time, I noticed several inconsistencies in their stories, which my family also noticed. For example, she claimed she was punched and knocked down in a store, but she had no bruises or injuries, and no one – the store or the authorities – followed up on the incident, which I found strange. On another occasion, she said she was threatened with a knife at her workplace. Once again, no authority accompanied her.

Sara is very needy and when I wasn’t at work or school, I spent all my time with her. I once needed a day to relax and take care of personal matters. She was upset and kept trying to convince me to come to her house. When I didn’t give in, she posted a photo showing that she had cut herself, something she had never done before. I alerted her parents and had a long talk with her about giving each other space. She agreed that she was wrong and decided to seek counseling, as I suggested, as the cut was alarming to me.

A week later, she knew I had an event to attend and said everything was fine, but the night before the event, she suddenly claimed she was hospitalized because of chest palpitations. We were sharing our locations on a popular app, and she turned hers off during her “hospital stay” and didn’t turn it back on until she was “home.” She said she spent the night there and didn’t know what hospital she was at, but finally said it was Hospital . When I called Hospital X, they confirmed that she had not been a patient there in over two years.

I then looked at the university acceptance letter she showed me last fall for her to attend medical school and found that it was barely altered from an online template. She told me at the time of her acceptance not to inform her parents about this as they felt she should not continue studying. I also checked her college graduation information and discovered that she did not graduate with honors as she claimed. Her GPA was less than 3.25, making her ineligible for the university she said she was now attending.

In the end, I found out that she told me a lot of lies and I broke up with her. Since then, she has been tirelessly trying to get back together with me, which led to me blocking her on my phone. Now, she is begging my parents and brother for me to give her another chance, claiming that we love each other and that they (my family) shouldn’t separate us. For all I know, she might even be using her parents’ phones to send text messages without their permission, claiming to be them and asking to get back together. How can my family and I deal with this controlling and manipulative person? – Controlled and Deceived

Dear Controlled and Deceived: You did the right thing by ending the relationship; Sara’s pattern of lying and manipulation is troubling to say the least. You also did the right thing by alerting her parents and recommending counseling as she is clearly struggling with serious mental health issues.

Blocking her was a wise first step and you should advise your family to do the same. If one of them responds, it might encourage her even more.

If Sara continues to harass you or your family, you may want to speak to authorities about a no-contact order.