My distant sister is dying of cancer and I don’t know how to get in touch

DEAR ABBY: I caught my husband talking on the phone to another woman. I heard him say, “Get some sleep, darling,” and “Thank you for being my companion.” When I questioned him, he claimed that nothing was happening and that he had used the wrong words.

He admitted who he was talking to and I called her. She said she was just a friend and didn’t feel anything for him that way. Afterwards, I still felt like something was happening. That was two years ago and I don’t think the same about him. He knows this and keeps telling me he loves me and nothing happened. Am I right to feel this way? – I DID NOT BUY IN WISCONSIN

DEAR I DID NOT BUY: People have been known to speak affectionately to each other without there being an affair. Both her husband and wife denied it. However, with the trust between you and your husband broken after what you heard, the time to start dealing with it was two years ago. It’s not too late for the two of you to have a few sessions with a licensed marriage and family therapist, and that’s what I’m encouraging you to do.

DEAR ABBY: I hope you can help me. My sister and I are far from each other. We haven’t spoken since our mother passed away three years ago. Today I learned that she was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. Of course, this hit me hard. I want to get in touch, but I’m not sure how to do that. She blocked me from her social media and doesn’t accept my calls. I need her to know that I’m here for her. Please advise how to approach this. – TRYING IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR TRYING: Whatever caused the rift with your sister, it is clearly more serious than “distancing.” If you put your thoughts and feelings into a letter to her, she will know that you love her, are concerned about her diagnosis, and are ready to do whatever she allows you to do to help her. That’s all you can do. After that, the ball is in your court. I hope it works.

DEAR ABBY: Many times you respond to a person who has been “ghosted” by a friend or relative. I have the opposite problem. I have a long-time friend and colleague who has started to drive me crazy, creating anxiety and anger whenever I have to deal with them.

They are a nice person, but whenever I communicate with them, they respond via text messages and emails several times a day. They only have four main topics – one of them is climate. I don’t know how to not hurt their feelings, so ghosting seems like the gentlest approach. Ideas? – FUTURE GHOSTER IN OREGON

DEAR FUTURE GHOST: Explain to this colleague that your schedule is overloaded. So stop responding to unnecessary texts and emails. If the person asks why or what changed, repeat that you are stuck and don’t have time for personal exchanges during work hours. Period.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.